middlingalong: (Default)
Ivan Xav Vorpatril ([personal profile] middlingalong) wrote in [community profile] alicornutopia2015-03-05 08:02 pm

no place like home

Ivan has gone and gotten lost in this stupidly large house. The party's turnout hasn't spilled upstairs yet, so he can't ask for directions to the stairwell after having got turned around finding the lav, so he's opening doors. This is a closet. That is someone's office. That room has partially clothed people in it and they aren't pleased to see him. "Sorry." This room -

...the fuck?

It's not a stairwell, but when Ivan eventually finds the stairwell, if the hostess doesn't ask him not to steal her cool house contents that she meant to show off herself, he's going to present to somebody who needs impressing it as his own discovery. Which it is; he discovered it. In he goes to this oddly spacious empty bar.
palmofyourhand: (⑫ how long will it be)

[personal profile] palmofyourhand 2015-03-06 04:18 am (UTC)(link)




Someone walks into the oddly spacious empty bar after him. Someone is followed by a long-legged ginger cat.

"The fuck," says someone, looking around with an expression of mildly confused annoyance.
palmofyourhand: (⑩ even deserts burn)

[personal profile] palmofyourhand 2015-03-06 04:22 am (UTC)(link)
"...The fuck," he repeats, staring at Ivan and then looking with increasing bewilderment at Ivan's immediate surroundings. "Do you - no, obviously you don't know a daemon when you see one. What the hell is going on?"
palmofyourhand: (⑨ it just don't mean a thing)

[personal profile] palmofyourhand 2015-03-06 04:25 am (UTC)(link)
"A daemon," says the cat, in a quiet female voice and deeply contemptuous tone.
palmofyourhand: (⑪ one more hole in space)

[personal profile] palmofyourhand 2015-03-06 04:27 am (UTC)(link)
The talking cat lashes her tail. The talking human shakes his head. "What did I do to deserve this?" he asks, probably rhetorically.
palmofyourhand: (④ in heaven hell or earth)

[personal profile] palmofyourhand 2015-03-06 04:30 am (UTC)(link)
"Come out here and I'll show you," he snorts, but when he turns back to open the door it won't budge.
palmofyourhand: (⑪ one more hole in space)

[personal profile] palmofyourhand 2015-03-06 04:30 am (UTC)(link)
"What's it fucking look like?"
palmofyourhand: (⑫ how long will it be)

[personal profile] palmofyourhand 2015-03-06 04:34 am (UTC)(link)
"Who the hell is Alexei anyway?"
palmofyourhand: (⑪ one more hole in space)

[personal profile] palmofyourhand 2015-03-06 04:37 am (UTC)(link)
He gives Ivan a look, like it is not even possible to measure the depth of idiocy Ivan has just displayed.
Edited 2015-03-06 04:37 (UTC)
palmofyourhand: (⑦ the future never waits)

[personal profile] palmofyourhand 2015-03-06 04:39 am (UTC)(link)
"I can't imagine what gave it away."
palmofyourhand: (⑩ even deserts burn)

[personal profile] palmofyourhand 2015-03-06 04:42 am (UTC)(link)
"Ugh," says the talking cat.

"She's my daemon," says the human, rolling his eyes. "I didn't get her anywhere, I was born with her."
palmofyourhand: (④ in heaven hell or earth)

[personal profile] palmofyourhand 2015-03-06 04:44 am (UTC)(link)
"I was born with a soul, who settled into the form of a cat when I was thirteen," he says. "You apparently don't have one at all. Maybe that's why you're so thick."
palmofyourhand: (⑪ one more hole in space)

[personal profile] palmofyourhand 2015-03-06 04:48 am (UTC)(link)
"Well excuse me," he says, rolling his eyes again, "I don't know where the fuck you're from but on Earth you'd be a zombie."
palmofyourhand: (④ in heaven hell or earth)

[personal profile] palmofyourhand 2015-03-06 04:50 am (UTC)(link)
"Clearly this is some sort of fucking dimensional bullshit," he concludes.

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