No way he's—? Fuck that. He tries a teleport, destination: anywhere else.

It doesn't work.

The next step will kind of complicate his inanimate object impression, but right now he's a little too freaked out to care: he deploys his spell diagram, rainbow-hued counter-rotating five-pointed figures inscribed in concentric circles, and tries a dimensional transfer.

That doesn't work either.

A glint of light flashes rapidly along one of his upward-facing edges in an involuntary expression of dismay. The spell diagram fades.