"Yep. So eventually they reached the wicked count's throne room. He was, naturally, quite surprised to see them. He grabbed a little magic crystal that let him talk to people who also had little magic crystals, and demanded that the captain of the mercenaries send up more mercenaries to protect him.
'Um. No,' said the mercenary captain.
'No? No? What do you mean no? What exactly am I paying you for again?' the wicked count screeched.
'Well, y'see, every time some of my men engaged with them, they were not only defeated, but many of them embarrassingly so. And if there's one thing that can hurt a mercenary company more than defaulting on a contract, it's being humiliated. Th'thing one a them c'n do with birds, it's not natural.' "