here is a door

[alicornucopia]

And now this door is not itself any longer, not quite.

Comments

[cross_and_bow]

"My universe is absolutely terrible and if it weren't so inconveniently inhabited by innocent people I would cheerfully abandon it. I understand the impulse completely."

[maggie_of_the_owls]

"Good, because it's a complete shithole."
"Klaudia!
"What! She said it was alright."
"And yet there is this thing called tact, darling, and someday you will learn what it is even if I never get you to use it."

[cross_and_bow]

"I kind of feel like I should name it. I'm going to name it Sunshine. To be ironic and prevent you from referring to it with Amityville references."

[maggie_of_the_owls]

"I referenced Amityville one time."
"And how many non-Amityville nicknames did you come up with for it?"
"That's beside the point."
"I really doubt it is."
"Well, if we're naming worlds, what shall we call ours? Not-Terrible Land?"
"Please come up with something serious, Gloria, you're the artistic one. I'm sure we'll all regret it if I have to do it."
"Hm...why'd you pick Sunshine, Bella?"

[cross_and_bow]

"Irony. Sunshine is cheerful, pleasant, and sets my kinda vampires on fire."

[maggie_of_the_owls]

"Hmm...How about Masquerade? Because of how good everyone is at mimicking vitality, it references the club, it's reasonably aesthetic..."
"Maybe spend more than five minutes thinking about it, Gloria."
"All right. Well, I do like Masquerade, but it's not as overwhelmingly relevant as Sunshine is, so if I think of anything better soonish we can replace it."

[cross_and_bow]

"Sure, I won't engrave it in any rocks."

[maggie_of_the_owls]

A young woman with short sandy hair walks into view. "Um, Ms. Jennings said you had something you wanted me for? That involves coming around the back of the building for some reason instead of just going through the back hallway?"
"The back hallway doesn't currently connect to this door," Gloria says. "...I don't think so, anyway? Klaudia, could you ask Bar what happens if Chris tries to get here through the back hallway?"

[alicornucopia]

Attempting to go through the door currently appropriated by the door to the bar from the other side will not work.

[maggie_of_the_owls]

"But could she come through the door from that side and then turn around and come in from this side or would that not work either?"

[alicornucopia]

Approaching the door from the far side will, typically, result in finding the door to be stuck.

[maggie_of_the_owls]

"Makes sense. Now I'm curious what would happen if I tried to force it, I'm strong enough to bust the door down if I wanted. Not going to test it, though, so I suppose it's moot."
"The back door to the club has been hijacked by a completely different bar. That talks with napkins," Chris observed. "Do you have any idea who did this?"
"It seems to be random. And done by the bar itself. In several different universes. On that note, this is Bella, she's from a completely different universe, it sucks, we were hoping you could magic something that would help."

[cross_and_bow]

"The place could use the help."

[maggie_of_the_owls]

"Well, what kinds of help does it need? Is the problem political, ecological, social or something else?"

[cross_and_bow]

"Our vampires are evil and our demons are numerous and also evil."

[maggie_of_the_owls]

"Oh...dear. I don't have anything in my repertoire off the top of my head to combat vampires, it doesn't usually come up when you work for a Queen Bitch Vampire. Not sure what's good against demons, I didn't know they existed..."
"Their vampires have a plethora of weaknesses ours don't," Gloria assures her. "And their 'demons' don't correlate to anything that exists in our world as far as we can tell. She also mentioned something about translating ancient prophecies, some of which are apparently in Sumerian. I don't suppose that little charm you put on Hepzibah's that adaptable?"
"...I don't think so, but I could try..."

[cross_and_bow]

"Sumerian is an example. They're in a lot of languages."

[maggie_of_the_owls]

"Do you have anyone who speaks those languages, by any chance, and just want to lighten the load? The language spell I have relies on copying a language out of one person's head and into another's. It's how...how much are we telling her about Hepzibah?"
"The beans have been pretty thoroughly spilled."
"It's how Hepzibah speaks fluent English instead of struggling with a language completely unlike any that existed when she was all the way alived. Or not where she could encounter them, anyway, I have no clue how closely English is related to whatever proto-Latin was around at the time."
"English is Germanic, dear."
"I literally could not care less."

[cross_and_bow]

"My Watcher has... some knowledge of some of the languages, so if I could copy him that would be nontrivial."

[maggie_of_the_owls]

"I have no clue what a Watcher is. How hard would it be to get him? I have spells that can help with transportation, if that's relevant."

[cross_and_bow]

"I mean, I'd have to hold the door, but if you can teleport him..."

[maggie_of_the_owls]

"I can teleport to him, and then teleport back with him."

[cross_and_bow]

"I imagine he'll splutter about it but sure."

[maggie_of_the_owls]

"Alternate universe transit, what fun. How does this work?"
"You come in here, I close the door, Bella opens the door, and it points to her world."
"Alright then." Chris steps inside, nodding politely to Klaudia when she sees her. Gloria closes the door.

[cross_and_bow]

Bella opens it.