Does he want to be a throw pillow, with pretty tassels and a picture of his face embroidered on one side opposite a cross-stitch of his rear? Does he want to sprout seventeen pairs of wings, some in highly uncomfortable places? Does he want to be able to send his left hand off by itself on adventures with verbal instructions as long as the verbal instructions include that it is to slap someone hard across the face? Does he want to emit dissonant chords in a variety of instrumental sounds at noon and midnight every day, or constantly if he changes time zones quickly?