the end of the universe

[alicornucopia]

Here and now, for multifarious definitions of "here" and a hopeless confusion of "now":

there is a bar.

Comments

[lost_in_translation]

It's been a long, exhausting week. Evra hasn't been back to his cottage in what seems like ages. He looks forward to spending some time in the comfort of his library. Or--alternatively--in his bed, sound asleep.

He turns his key in the lock and pulls the front door open. Instead of his living room, there is a bar on the other side. He stares at it, looks back over his shoulder, and then turns around and stares at it some more.

He's pretty sure the bar isn't supposed to be there.

[alicornucopia]

In defiance of this logic, the bar continues to be there!

[lost_in_translation]

Evra takes one last look at the street outside. He really shouldn't go in. For all he knows, it could be a trap.

Then again, that would require some pretty powerful spatial magic, the likes of which he's never seen before.

He hesitates at his (the bar's?) doorstep, and then walks into the bar.

[alicornucopia]

The bar is large. It has tables, and a fireplace with couches over there, and a back door to the left of the bar itself. There are no shelves of alcohol behind it; just a wooden counter, with stools.

[lost_in_translation]

Evra circles the bar once, wary. There's an odd, twisting sensation in the air. He isn't sure if it's ambient magic, or something else.

In any case, this is a bar, and there is no alcohol. Evra finds this both strange and suspicious.

[alicornucopia]

In defiance of his opinions on the correct contents of bars, this one goes on having no bottles, cans, nor so much as a box of wine.

[lost_in_translation]

Well, there's not much he can do here. Evra makes his way over to the counter and settles down on one of the stools. The wood is smooth and polished under his fingertips.

[alicornucopia]

Hello. Can I interest you in a beverage? appears a napkin.

[lost_in_translation]

Evra blinks at the napkin's appearance. He picks it up, and turns it over in his hands. There are no runes inscribed on it, as far as he can see.

He isn't sure how to respond (and who he's responding to, considering the bar is deserted). Vocally? He clears his throat and says, "Just water."

[alicornucopia]

A glass of water appears. Condensation forms on its surface. Water doesn't count as your free first beverage, so if you want anything else, just let me know.

[lost_in_translation]

Verbal communication, then. Evra touches a finger to the glass and traces the symbol for solidity on its side. There's a crackle in the air, and the water freezes from bottom to top.

It's not as solid as it's supposed to be, though. Evra supposes that the underlying laws of magic are a bit different here.

"So, who am I speaking to?"

[alicornucopia]

I'm the bar. You may call me Bar.

[lost_in_translation]

"Bar," Evra repeats, and glances around the room. "The whole building? Or just this spot?"

He wonders what the bar looks like from the outside.

[alicornucopia]

Specifically, I am the counter you are sitting at. I have some information about but little direct connection to other areas of the establishment.

[lost_in_translation]

He's talking to a sentient countertop. Great. Evra pinches the bridge of his nose, squeezes his eyes shut. There's a significant probability that he's currently dreaming or hallucinating, considering his mental state after he left headquarters.

"I'll have a glass of red wine," he says. He needs it.

[alicornucopia]

There appears such a glass!

[lost_in_translation]

Evra picks the glass up. The wine smells and tastes just like regular wine.

He rolls the glass stem between his fingers and ponders his next question.

"What is this place, exactly?" He gestures in the air with his free hand. "Did someone create all this? Does anyone else come here?"

[alicornucopia]

The establishment is called Milliways, the Restaurant at the End of the Universe. Its origins are extremely mysterious even to me. And there are a wide variety of patrons from a wide variety of worlds; at the moment only you, but that may change at any time.

[lost_in_translation]

"The end of the universe? Temporally or spatially speaking?" Evra hopes it's the latter. The prospect of being wiped out by an exploding star isn't very appealing.

[affodell]

Both, says the bar.

The door opens.

[lost_in_translation]

Evra turns to see a woman walk into the bar. Her clothes are unlike any he's seen in his world.

[affodell]

"Well isn't this cunning," she remarks, looking around. "Hullo there."

[lost_in_translation]

"Hello," he says. "And you are?"

[affodell]

"I'm Cayra. You?"

[lost_in_translation]

"Evra." He waves a hand in the air. "Do you know what all this is?"