here is a door

[alicornucopia]

And now this door is not itself any longer, not quite.

Comments

[maggie_of_the_owls]

"Can you really...what Gloria said?"

[alicornucopia]

Certainly.

[maggie_of_the_owls]

"Huh. Alright then, I'll try that."

[alicornucopia]

A glass appears.

[maggie_of_the_owls]

Sip.
"Vaguely recognizable, interesting. Thank you."

[alicornucopia]

You're welcome, of course.

[maggie_of_the_owls]

"So how much was this, I should probably have asked before I started drinking it."
"First drink's free, darling, or that's what she told me, anyway."

[alicornucopia]

That's correct. Further glasses of the same will be $8 in your currency.

[maggie_of_the_owls]

"Good to know."
"Bella's father is a policeman," Gloria adds. "I thought it might not be beyond the realm of doubt that you'd have relevant advice on dealing with nonhuman arrestees."
"Be nonhuman yourself is a good start," Klaudia says dryly. "When we have to send in the human members of the precinct to deal with someone likely to be both violent and spooky, which thankfully does not happen often, we generally issue them full riot gear. I have no idea if that in any way applies to your situation."

[cross_and_bow]

"My dad is a regular dude. There aren't as far as I know irregular dudes on the police force."

[maggie_of_the_owls]

"Unfortunate, but not really surprising considering how many mean names my wife has been calling your universe. The riot gear remark still applies, although it might be a little conspicuous for regular use."

[cross_and_bow]

"A little, yeah."

[maggie_of_the_owls]

"Any more specific advice I could give would have to do with the details of individual species, which would probably actually be worse than useless considering how different our vampires are from yours."

[cross_and_bow]

"And there's thousands of kinds of demons."

[maggie_of_the_owls]

"Demons?"

[cross_and_bow]

"Yeah. Of which vampires are the most common kind, depending on who you ask - some people think they are technically not demons, it's a thing. And then there are lots of things that are definitely demons. Some are just, you know, people with bizarre non-earthly cultures, but most of them are pretty actively malevolent."

[maggie_of_the_owls]

"I think you and I are working off of different definitions of demon. As far as I know, demons are not a thing in our universe."
"We seem to be working off of different definitions of everything, Klaudia. Is demon just a catchall term for any kind of supernatural being in your universe?"

[cross_and_bow]

"No, there are also some non-demon supernatural beings. I'm not sure 'demon' is actually a natural category, but basically it gets used to refer to creatures from other planes which are not humans, divinities of some kind - I'm even less sure how those are defined - part-humans, ex-humans, or, like, plants, and even then it seems like people say 'demon plant' to refer to plants native to demon dimensions, i.e. any dimension other than the one where most humans live."

[maggie_of_the_owls]

"That is bizarre," Gloria opines. "And sounds like just the kind of thing that would arise from the same source as a system like your Slayer thingie and its terrible support system."
"Slayer thingie?"
"They have some kind of mystical mumbo-jumbo that empowers random teenage girls to punch the forces of darkness in the face, one at a time, new one shows up when the last one dies, apparently they have a quote support system close quote in the form of a sinister organization that encourages the reluctant ones to die."
"Is there anything about this universe that isn't terrible?"

[cross_and_bow]

"I assume you have, like, churros and sunsets and Shakespeare in your world and won't be impressed that we have those things?"

[maggie_of_the_owls]

"Quite. I'm sorry, I know it's your universe and it's probably not pleasant to have a couple of outsiders going on about how terrible it is."
"Bit passive-aggressive there, darling."
"Sorry, I can't think of a better way to say it."

[cross_and_bow]

"My universe is absolutely terrible and if it weren't so inconveniently inhabited by innocent people I would cheerfully abandon it. I understand the impulse completely."

[maggie_of_the_owls]

"Good, because it's a complete shithole."
"Klaudia!
"What! She said it was alright."
"And yet there is this thing called tact, darling, and someday you will learn what it is even if I never get you to use it."

[cross_and_bow]

"I kind of feel like I should name it. I'm going to name it Sunshine. To be ironic and prevent you from referring to it with Amityville references."

[maggie_of_the_owls]

"I referenced Amityville one time."
"And how many non-Amityville nicknames did you come up with for it?"
"That's beside the point."
"I really doubt it is."
"Well, if we're naming worlds, what shall we call ours? Not-Terrible Land?"
"Please come up with something serious, Gloria, you're the artistic one. I'm sure we'll all regret it if I have to do it."
"Hm...why'd you pick Sunshine, Bella?"