Does he want to slowly disintegrate into confetti every time he moves until there is too little of him to do anything and he explodes in a shower of fireworks? Does he want to have the ability to shapeshift into whoever the person nearest him is thinking of, and be unable to turn that off? Does he want his lower jaw to be made of aspic? Does he want to cough up butterflies every time he would otherwise get the hiccups? Does he want to bleed scrambled eggs?