worth an oat

[alicornucopia]

In this soup kitchen sits a nun in partial habit, sipping water and frowning at a desk. It is very irregular for adults who aren't volunteering to be at the soup kitchen. It is very irregular for expensive electronics to be in the soup kitchen. The volunteers do seem to know her; they call her "Carlotta".

Comments

[pythbox]

"That still doesn't mean it's my mutant power," says Oat.

"Isn't there a way to tell?" says Sindri.

[alicornucopia]

"I don't know," muses Bella.

[pythbox]

"I think there is a way to tell but I don't know what it is," says Sindri. "The way my parents talk about it, they know for sure I don't have mine yet, and how could they know that if there wasn't a way to tell which things are and aren't a power?"

[alicornucopia]

"Well, it would also have to be something that suddenly appears," says Bella. "And is weird."

[pythbox]

"When did yours suddenly appear?"

[alicornucopia]

"We're not sure because nobody was trying to telepath me until I started first grade."

[pythbox]

"...Why was somebody trying to telepath you then?"

[alicornucopia]

"Because I kept tripping and having bruises and they wanted to check to make sure my mom wasn't hitting me but she wasn't. They telepathed her instead when it didn't work on me. But it has to have been earlier than that because I broke monitors," she adds thoughtfully.

[pythbox]

"So yours didn't even suddenly appear, so there should be a way to tell," says Sindri.

"Maybe your parents were mistaken," says Oat.

"They usually aren't," says Sindri.

[alicornucopia]

"It could have suddenly appeared! It just wasn't obvious because I didn't catch fire or grow wings or something."

[pythbox]

"He means that it didn't suddenly appear in the sense that you didn't notice it exactly when it manifested," says Oat.

"...Yes," says Sindri. "That's what I meant. And if you didn't notice it manifesting, then people can not notice when they manifest, which means that if my parents are really sure I haven't, then there's a way to tell if someone's manifested even if they didn't catch fire or grow wings."

"Or they didn't know that some mutants don't manifest obviously," says Oat.

"Or that. But my parents know a lot of things."

[alicornucopia]

"Maybe I noticed but I was like two," she says, "and don't remember."

[pythbox]

"But I still don't think this is Oat's mutant power."

"You're just thinking that way because I said I might kill myself if this keeps happening," says Oat.

"...Well. Yes. Maybe," says Sindri. "But I think that's good logic. If something being true means your life is over and there's nothing you can do about it, and you don't know if it's true or not, assume it isn't."

[alicornucopia]

"That's now how you find out true things," says Bella, "but it might be a good way to operate until you can find them out."

[pythbox]

"I'm not sure I'd even want to find something out if finding it out would be that horrible," says Sindri.

[alicornucopia]

"Huh."

[pythbox]

"I don't think there's actually such a thing as something so horrible that I'd kill myself if I knew it," says Sindri. "But if there was, and if I thought it might be true, I'd try not to find out. Because if I found out it was true then I would die, but if I didn't find it out then maybe it would stop being true without me, or I'd stop feeling that way about it."

[alicornucopia]

"If there was such a thing I'd still need to know because it would have to be the kind of thing where it mattered if I was dead or not."

[pythbox]

"...What?" says Oat.

[alicornucopia]

"Like, if I found out that maybe buggers were going to kidnap me and torture me for information and I actually had any information," says Bella, "then that might make me decide to kill myself if they were really going to do that, and it wouldn't help at all with the actual problem of buggers getting information to not know for sure, and I think all the things that might make me want to kill myself are like that."

[pythbox]

"That's not a thing about it being horrible, though, that's a practical thing, it's different," says Sindri. "There's practical things like that for me too, probably, but they're not the kind of thing I was thinking about."

[alicornucopia]

"Oh. I don't think I have any of the other kind of thing, then."

[pythbox]

"I don't either," says Sindri.

"I think you like being alive more than I do," says Oat.

"I think so too. I don't know what to do about it," says Sindri.

"Why do you need to do anything?"

Sindri does not have a good answer for this, or at least, if he has one, he doesn't immediately say it.

[alicornucopia]

"People don't like it when other people seem to be missing out on things they like," says Bella. "It's usually a book or something and not being alive but still."

[pythbox]

"It's not that," says Sindri, and also Oat, simultaneously.

"...Okay, what is it, then?" asks Sindri, staring quizzically at Oat.

"I don't know. It's something I don't know about."

"It's... I'm probably the only person in Battle School who's from Thule, I'm not sure I can explain properly."