hell of a party

[middlingalong]

Ivan must be drunker than he thought he was. He could have sworn he knew his way around Vivienne's parents' house, since she wanted to introduce him last week and showed him the place, but maybe they have a... secret... upstairs... bar? where Vivienne's room is supposed to be? And most certainly was last time he checked? He's never going to find the sweater she sent him up looking for here, anyway. Why is there a secret upstairs bar in Vivienne's parents' house?

Comments

[thisvorlunatic]

"How're my bones doing?" asks Grownup Miles. "And can somebody get me more food?"

[isthisart]

"Seventy-seven percent improvement. Bar?"

Bar recommends a vegetable-laden pasta in a green sauce and a slice of cake and a cup of hot apple cider. Linya brings it over.

"You're bringing him his food," observes Nika.

"We are, in fact, really and truly, married," Linya says, and to prove the point she kisses her husband on the top of his head. "So sometimes I do things like that."

[thisvorlunatic]

Grownup Miles beams and gives his wife a quick hug before he goes back to his game.

Little Miles makes a face.

[middlingalong]

"Bleah," agrees Tiny Ivan.

"You are going to have a very interesting age twelve," says Big Ivan.

"Bleah."

[thisvorlunatic]

Which just makes Grownup Miles think of his alt's upcoming Very Interesting Age Fifteen.

Nope. Not thinking about it. Playing Strat-O instead.

[isthisart]

"Am I going to have a very interesting age?" Nika asks her grownups.

"I'm not a good barometer. Isabella?"

[warpfairy]

"I'm not a perfect barometer, but - fourteen, I guess."

[thisvorlunatic]

"How about me?" asks Little Miles.

"I don't remember exactly," says Grownup Miles.

"Why're you making that face?"

"You're happier not knowing."

Little Miles gives him a look of extreme skepticism.

[middlingalong]

"Also twelve," supplies Ivan, "judging from when you started scowling at me whenever I mentioned doing anything more than looking across the room at a girl and sometimes even then."

[thisvorlunatic]

"Thanks, Ivan," says Grownup Miles, masking sincerity with sarcasm.

[warpfairy]

"And I'm supposed to start doing notebooks things when I'm six?"

"That's when I started. You can start earlier if you like; Linyabel did."

[isthisart]

"Some of it depends on being able to write pretty fast, though."

[thisvorlunatic]

"Hey," says Little Miles suddenly. "I get a magic dwarf alt, right?"

"Sort of, yes..."

"And Nika gets a magic alien alt?"

"Arguably."

"Why doesn't Ivan get any magic alts?"

"Because he's Ivan," suggests Grownup Miles.

SPOILERS FOR EFFULGENCE: SUPERLUMINAL FOLLOW

[isthisart]

"But that's not fair," objects Nika. "And he also only gets one grownup and me and Miles have two. There should be a magic Ivan. Baaaar, make the door give us a not a boring human Ivan so it's fair."

I don't control the door, but your Ivan is already not a human.

Nika blinks at this napkin.

"Ivaaan," she says, "you didn't tell me you weren't a human."

[middlingalong]

"What?" say both Ivans at once.

"I'm a human! Look at me, I'm totally a human," continues Tiny Ivan. "I don't even have elf ears or anything."

[thisvorlunatic]

"Looks aren't everything," mutters Grownup Miles.

"Ivan's not a human?" says Little Miles. "What is he instead?"

[middlingalong]

"I'm a human!" exclaims Tiny Ivan. "I'm not any other thing! I'm just me!"

It's not entirely clear that he'd like me to tell you, says Bar.

[isthisart]

"Oh dear," murmurs Linya.

"Bar won't tell us what Ivan is unless Ivan lets her!" says Nika, indignantly interpreting the napkin. "Ivaaaaan! Come on!"

[middlingalong]

Tiny Ivan crosses his arms. His alt sighs and ruffles his hair.

[thisvorlunatic]

"Won't you even tell Ivan what he is?" demands Little Miles. "He doesn't know! It's not fair if you know what species somebody is and you won't tell them just 'cause they didn't know already!"

(Grownup Miles is impressed with his younger self's craftiness. That is some well-targeted outrage right there.)

[middlingalong]

If Ivan asks me certainly I will tell him what he is, Bar says.

Tiny Ivan declines to ask. He continues folding his arms and pouting. And getting scritched by his alt.

[warpfairy]

"She says if Ivan asks her himself she'll tell," Isabella relays.

[washed_in_blood]

"Bring me over there," says Little Miles to Bothari.

Bothari picks him up and brings him over to the bar and holds him where he could see any napkins that appeared at him.

"Are you hiding more weird stuff?" says Little Miles, scowling at Bar.

[alicornucopia]

There is a pause, and then Bar says,

You're a unicorn.

Nika yelps, possibly in a pleased manner.

[washed_in_blood]

...Bothari leans back slightly to give Little Miles a dubious look, but doesn't drop him or make alarmed sounds or anything.

"How am I a unicorn?" asks Little Miles. "I'm not even like a unicorn! Not even a little bit!"