trade my soul for a wish

[from_scratch]

This is a successor to "call me maybe", which is getting crowded.

Cam is dipping a grilled cheese sandwich into a bowl of tomato soup when he feels the summons. He goes ahead and grabs it. Doesn't even drop the sandwich.


with Mark (kappa)

with Adanya (Aestrix)

with Sable (kappa)

with Ari (andaisq)

with Metella (kappa)

with Miles (kappa)

with Isabella (Eva)

with Steel (Rockeye)

with Daphne (Maggie)

with Edie (Maggie)

Comments

[from_scratch]

"By 'actually use' what do you mean? And where do you propose to get a template for a plausible-looking facility?"

[unmarred]

"I mean suppose that someone sends us a carefully edited gene sequence, and you conjure a direct clone of So-and-So that does not incorporate the changes. They'll be pissed off that we didn't follow spec and confused as to how that is even a possible error to make, if we never had access to an unedited gene sample of So-and-so. As for the facility, eh, can't be that hard to make something up. For our purposes all it really needs to be is a lot of funny-looking equipment and somewhere for you to conjure bodies."

[from_scratch]

"Okay. I should be able to grow an extrapolation from a supplied sequence and conjure up something incomprehensible-looking with tanks and tubes and funny-colored liquids and things that go beep."

[unmarred]

"You have the general idea," he says, smiling. "The biggest remaining question I have is whether or not I want to show up with a ready-made clone of Baron Fell. He might be more affronted at the implied theft of a genetic sample than impressed by the demonstration of our ability. But if we don't, that's a three-month lead time spent twiddling our thumbs without a demonstrated product. Maybe I'll show him a disposable clone-body of me. Hah, I think I will. So we show up, I make my pitch, I unveil the product, I offer him the chance to be our very first customer, and then if he bites - when he bites - House Holmes opens for business. Mm?"

[from_scratch]

"I see no obvious problems. Do you want yours to spec or just made naively?"

[unmarred]

"Naive genetic clone, please. It'll turn out taller than me, but I don't actually know by how much."

[from_scratch]

"Drank too much coffee and stunted your growth? All right. Say when. Do I need to put tanks of effervescent this-and-that in a room on the Gretchen or are we skipping that?"

[unmarred]

"Produce fake lab, then produce clone in fake lab, I think."

[from_scratch]

"Right. I will go pick a room to sacrifice to the fake lab cause and whip up your demo."

[unmarred]

"Thanks. Oh, and I think when I make my pitch to Baron Fell it'll be a private meeting, just the two of us. The less of you we show to anyone, the less chance there is for someone to decide stealing you would be a sound business model, and the less chance of you accidentally revealing you're not from this universe. Sound sensible?"

[from_scratch]

"Makes sense. I'm not known for my poker face."

[unmarred]

"All right. I think we may be set."

[from_scratch]

"Have fun. Please don't get assassinated."

And Cam goes off to sacrifice a room of the Gretchen to mysterious lab equipment.

[unmarred]

Mark pilots them to Fell Station, requests and receives permission to dock, and requests a private meeting with Baron Fell.

This involves talking his way up a chain of increasingly prestigious flunkies. Finally he reaches one who just makes noncommittal noises instead of passing him up the chain.

"Look," he says, "I know at this point I'm supposed to offer you a bribe to demonstrate the magnitude of my consequence, but frankly I can't be bothered with such trivialities. Tell Baron Fell I have an offer he wants to hear, and I will discuss it with him privately or not at all."

"...I will pass on your message," says the over-underling.

"Thank you," says Mark, with a razor smile. The baron's man flinches. Mark ends the call and goes to see how the fake lab is coming along.

[from_scratch]

The fake lab looks, well, kind of like it was made by a guy from 2159 - there are nods to modern sensibilities that he's been able to absorb in his short time in the future but there's too much glass and metal, not enough plastic. It will probably pass at a glance to someone who isn't expecting it to be dated-looking. He has at least not put any paper anywhere. Cam is, possibly purely for his own entertainment, wearing a labcoat. Several of the pieces of equipment are so thoroughly sealed as to have no way to open them and get at the contents.

[unmarred]

"This'll pass," Mark judges. "The aesthetic's weird but that makes it more plausible that you're some kind of crazed genius with unprecedented accomplishments."

[from_scratch]

"Oh, am I playing a crazed genius, as opposed to your techy lackey or something?"

[unmarred]

"You're playing my lackey who doesn't get out much and is one of an undisclosed but extremely small number of people capable of doing this thing. Actually, I'd be pleased if we could find another demon or two as trustworthy as you to apply to the problem, just so it doesn't seem like you're the only one... but that's for the longer term, when you're zipping around terraforming things."

[from_scratch]

"I know some demons who are reasonably decent people - as trustworthy as me is a high bar but I know some I'd trust unbound if and only if they could go home regularly. Which we have yet to test."

[unmarred]

"And will not be testing for a good long while, unless you know someone who annoys you enough that you'd risk stranding them here forever but not enough that you'd worry about them causing havoc that way."

[from_scratch]

"Nobody fits the bill, alas."

[unmarred]

"A shame."

[from_scratch]

"Yeah. Unfortunately, most people, if you pull them from their homes and then do not, for whatever reason, send them back, they're going to think you weren't trying, and the next obvious thing to do is kill you and see if that helps."

[unmarred]

"And I would of necessity not even be around to laugh at them when that didn't work either."

[from_scratch]

"Quite. Although I don't think I want to assume that you necessarily can't get rid of me through dying even if you can't get rid of me the usual way. Obviously some of the standard rules apply. I didn't appear for thirty seconds surrounded by inexplicable birdsong and only able to conjure objects in navy blue without having attempted to answer a summons while you were fixing scrambled eggs. You drew on the floor, I felt a summons, I took it, that part's all very bog-standard, the only weird thing we've verified so far is where I am."