alicornutopia | cooperation

"Well, at least accepting damages sounds a little nicer. Hadn't really thought of it that way. And usually it'd be pet dogs, who are a bit harder for a family to keep in one place than it would be for their mom. They run away without realizing they're doing it, and then they can't find their way back. I don't charge as much for finding dogs, they need finding more than whatever heirloom whoever dropped down the back of the couch." And Mouse would probably glare at him if he did. Very smart dog. Very judgmental too.

"I don't think we have dogs here, whatever those are," says Keo. The lift lets them out in a dorm hall, deserted; she picks a room and lets him into it.

He enters the room. "It is weird that you don't have dogs. I don't know, maybe something's messed up about my brain, but I find that weirder than the fact that you have freaky alien magic that can summon random humans. Speaking of which, is there any way for me to get my hands on some of said magic? It's always nice to have as many resources as you can get, back in my world, and I don't see any reason I shouldn't try here too."

He thinks it could be a nice surprise for Nicodemus if he ended up in a circle rated to hold literally anyone imaginable. Or Cowl. Or maybe summoning up Mavra just in time for the sunrise. He can't help smiling a little at the thought.

"I doubt very much that you have any of the Elcenian forms of magic. You have to be born with them; everyone here is born with a channeling capacity for wizardry but you likely don't have one."

"Damn." It's not like he was really expecting to get game-breaking alien magic, but it sure would have been nice. Although, since he's in Gamebreaker Wizard Land anyway... "Would it be alright if I hired some wizard or another to help me destroy an undead being of ultimate evil who wants me dead?" He thinks for a moment. "Or, like, a few undead monstrosities. I've got a list. Maybe I could get a bulk rate."

It would make his job a lot easier if he could get rid of a couple of the top vampires, and sunlight's pretty easy to come by. It seems a shame to waste it.

"...You might have to convince them that they will not be charged under local laws for murder."

"Does it count as murder if the victim is already dead? And, like, super evil. You can confirm with your psychic woo-woo dragon magic, really really evil." If anyone is an exception to laws against murder, he's pretty sure Mavra and the Lords of Outer Night fit into that niche.

"If it's still illegal, I can visit this world's requisite hive of scum and villainy and get it done there. It's just more convenient if I can source it locally." He pauses. "What is this world and/or country called, anyway? I'm realizing that I have some holes in my geographic knowledge. It's a noted failing of the American educational system."

"We don't have a problem with dead people doing things, around here, so there are no exceptions for dead people per se. I'm also not above the law with my dragon magic - I could get away with it but that doesn't make it legal. You would probably have more luck on the legality front in, say, Oridaan, but everything will be very expensive. This world is Elcenia and the country is Esmaar, and you're in the Binaaralav Academy of Wizardry just outside the city of Paraasilan."

Harry nods. "Well, I have something to save up for, I guess. Expensive trip to Oridaan for cheaty monster-killing and, I don't know, fancy chocolates. Nice firm goal." He files it away somewhere under "things that should definitely be accomplished by the time I get back to Earth", and taps his feet a few times in what may be a suppressed jig of happiness.

"So, should we find the girls, then? I have to say, I'm feeling a hell of a lot better about this unexpected trip now that I've hacked the vampire war. If it didn't seem like it'd encourage risky behavior, I'd probably be thanking them."

"Don't thank them, please," says Keo dryly. "It would cause disciplinary problems. If you want to go back to their room -" She gives him the name of their hall and room number, and reminds him of his own hall and room number. "If you need anything, think my name really hard, I'll be able to answer."

"Good to know! Your omniscience is somewhat creepy and very convenient."

He writes the numbers on a notepad he keeps in the pocket of the duster (pockets, so convenient, especially compared to towels) and makes a concerted effort not to outright skip down the hall to the girls' room. He just theoretically almost solved the second-worst mistake he ever made. It's a good day for Harry, for the White Council, and for the continent of South America at large, though they don't know it.

"I'm not omniscient," says Keo, and then she casts a spell and disappears, leaving him to direct the lift where he likes.

With some consultation of his notepad, he arrives at Korulen and Saasnil's room. Knock, knock! He really hopes they're not still crying, because that would be deeply uncomfortable and he's known to be bad with crying girls! Even crying girls who may or may not be half dragon, and wow is he ever having to remind himself that dragons here do not appear to be nigh-omnipotent as a species. (Keo aside. She is a special case, he can see that much.)

Korulen opens the door.

"Oh, um, hi," she says. "Did you want to go shopping now? Mom said you might want to go shopping and that I should take you whenever."

Harry tries to look as nonthreatening and polite as it is possible for a scruffy 6'10 man with a stick and a trenchcoat can look. "Nah, the shopping can come later, I accidentally did a thing that resulted in scheduling. I actually kind of came here to apologize."

"Uh, we're the ones who stupidly summoned you and got you stranded here, you don't need to apologize to us..."

He scratches his head awkwardly. "Yeah, but I was - pretty mean about it, and you were already having a really hard time. I know how it feels to make a dumb mistake and have people yelling at you for it to no end, and it sucks. This is so far from the worst thing to happen to me this month that it's kind of hilarious. So - sorry for making a bad situation worse." He pauses. "Don't do it again, though. In case you're not quite traumatized enough to get that."

"We won't! We won't ever," promises Korulen.

"Good then!" says Harry. "So. I'd better head back to the office, I think it's time for them to summon the return letter from Murphy. Sorry again, make fewer bad decisions, friendly neighborhood warden is going away now."

He sidles off. Awkwardly. Is this man ever not awkward. Sources point to no.

Korulen waves, also awkwardly, and closes the door.

The lift is obedient to his instructions. Kanaat's in the office; Keo's off somewhere else.

"Hey, uh, Kanaat? Has it been an- angler? Yet?"

He's going to have to learn to actually convert these units at some point, probably. That point is not right now. In fact, it's as far in the future as he can reasonably put it. Harry Dresden is not one to change his measurement systems; he never went metric, and he's not going Elcenian without a fight.

"Angle," says Kanaat. "Nearly. If you think it's been an hour, I can summon the letter for you."

Harry looks to be doing some mental math. "...Maybe? You could, uh, scry her? That's your divination thing? She'd be expecting something like that, and you could see if she's ready."

"It would take several degrees to draw the circle for scrying," Kanaat says. "I can do it if it's necessary, but if it would only be necessary in order to figure out whether an hour has passed it seems redundant."

"Damn. Well, I guess we could summon it now? She's probably done anyway, the full hour was just for insurance."

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