the only part that makes sense

[middlingalong]

Aunt Cordelia is going to be away for a while rescuing Miles's long-lost brother. She is concerned that in that time Miles will become so absorbed in his magic netsite that he will forget to eat, or something, which seems entirely plausible, insofar as anything about this situation seems plausible. She would like Ivan to come visit and make sure Miles is looked after. Ivan can do that. Mercifully no one is trying to get him to do any of the things involving this madness that he could not do. Also, conveniently, he doesn't want to be in his apartment for a while because a guy he hooked up with is deeply confused about how interested Ivan is in a long-term arrangement that involves flowers and cute little notes and is having trouble picking up on standard communication about that as anything other than Ivan being a closet case or something. So it's just as well.

Ivan drives up to Vorkosigan House with a suitcase and goes to check on Miles.

Comments

[thisvorlunatic]

"There is nothing to tell!"

[middlingalong]

"I have recent information on what you look like when the Empress of Cetaganda flirts with you," Ivan points out.

[thisvorlunatic]

"Alarmed! Alarmed is how I look when the Empress of Cetaganda flirts with me!"

[middlingalong]

"Among other things. Anyway, this is different, but I don't think I'm making it up. But maybe it's, I don't know, some terrifying basement monster where if you speak her name I will burst into flames, so you can go on denying it if it's important."

[thisvorlunatic]

"Ivan. Do you honestly think that if I had met a girl in the course of all this who was interested in flirting with me and wasn't the Empress of Cetaganda, I would be capable of shutting up about it?"

[middlingalong]

"If she were a terrifying basement monster whose name would cause me to burst into flames, I certainly hope so. But I hope you and your basement monster will be very happy together." Pause. "But I don't think she flirted back."

[thisvorlunatic]

"I haven't been flirting with anyone! Except possibly Lisbet!"

[middlingalong]

Ivan taps his chin. "Hmm, yeah, maybe not. You wish to flirt with your basement monster but haven't done so for some reason."

[thisvorlunatic]

"There is no basement monster, and certainly not one I want to flirt with."

[middlingalong]

"Thank you for protecting my continued state of not being on fire, Miles."

[thisvorlunatic]

"You are in no danger of catching fire from learning about the basement monster, because the basement monster does not exist!"

[middlingalong]

"I appreciate that, I really do."

[thisvorlunatic]

"Aargh!"

[middlingalong]

[thisvorlunatic]

[middlingalong]

"All right, I'll leave you alone about basement monster mysteries man was not meant to know. I'm just here to make sure you eat. And avoid the fellow from the club."

[thisvorlunatic]

"Eh?"

[middlingalong]

Shrug. "Had a slow night, went home with a guy, he is now very confused about my characteristics."

[thisvorlunatic]

"Well, that sounds annoying. I'm serious about the lack of a basement monster, Ivan. If I were attempting to flirt with someone whose magical properties were such that I could not tell family members about her without them catching fire, this would be something of a barrier to our relationship."

[middlingalong]

"Maybe you plan on giving us magical flame-retardant talismans later, how should I know. Something happened."

[thisvorlunatic]

"Nothing happened! I obtained the gold coins from a perfectly non-flammable supernatural being. Who was male. And at no point did I entertain the thought of flirting with him."

[middlingalong]

Ivan inspects Miles.

And then he coughs, "Consciously." Cough cough.

[thisvorlunatic]

"...What!"

[middlingalong]

Cough cough innocentface.

[thisvorlunatic]

Glare.