holy place

[she_sells_seashells]

My alternates tend to take over the world. Advice available. Rates negotiable.

Shell Bell puts up her sign and nibbles her most recent charity meal. Not potatoes! It is not potatoes. Or fish or clams. It is rice and curry and a fruity yogurt drink. That nice person told Bar she could use his tab for four meals, and this is meal number two.

Comments

[seewhathappens]

"Hello," he says. "I'd like to make a diplomatic visit to District Thirteen."

[alicornucopia]

"And you are?"

[seewhathappens]

He switches to the omnilingual voice.

"Kirovalin, god-Emperor of Liafnifair." (Irahali, Kirova, Lianu, Elianesket, Amvara, Ashalir, Kirovara, Acsaira, Irathak, Arliasne, Ipraselei, Niaverel... an empire with many names, apparently.)

[alicornucopia]

"...If you'll wait here I can go ask President Coin to make room in her schedule."

[seewhathappens]

"I will wait," he says in plain English.

[alicornucopia]

Tulip scurries away.

She comes back twenty minutes later. "I have to ask you not to wander off by yourself away from me, use any unauthorized magical or divine influence or power, or linger if asked to leave. Is that all right?"

[seewhathappens]

"Yes."

[alicornucopia]

"...Okay." She gulps, and then motions for him to follow and turns around to lead him to a door in the ground that leads to a ladder.

[seewhathappens]

He follows. He does not overtly use any magical or divine influence or power.

[alicornucopia]

Down the ladder they go, and then there are a couple flights of stairs, and then there's an elevator, and then there's a long hallway, and then there start being people.

The people ignore them except for some brief curious glances at the unfamiliar face and his weird outfit. They have schedules printed on their arms and are all bustling hither and thither to obey them.

Tulip leads him to an office with a secretary, and introduces him to the secretary, and then they are ushered past into another office with a severe-looking woman whose door says PRESIDENT COIN.

[seewhathappens]

"Hello," he says to (presumably) President Coin.

[alicornucopia]

"Hello," says President Coin. "What brings you here today?"

[seewhathappens]

"Investigating opportunities to help your citizens," he says. "On my home planet I don't customarily bless foreigners, but I do establish embassies where, among other things, my acolytes and manifestations can distribute disease immunities to anyone who asks."

[alicornucopia]

"And how does that work?"

[seewhathappens]

"I have the divine power to share immunities with a touch. When I touch someone, I collect copies of all the immunities they possess, and they gain all the immunities I have already collected. It's a very useful ability to have."

[alicornucopia]

"That sounds harmless, but we have no way to guarantee your sincerity or check your track record with other nations on your original planet."

[seewhathappens]

"That's true," he says. "Ultimately the only sources of information you have about me are my word, and observation of my empire from the outside, since you have so far declined to send a delegation of your own."

[alicornucopia]

"We're considering it, but we've been practicing isolationism for the better part of a century and are not prepared to adjust instantly."

[seewhathappens]

"A long time from the mortal perspective," he acknowledges. "Do you object to hosting an embassy, then?"

[alicornucopia]

"Perhaps you could put something up at the edge of your domain," suggests Coin. "Being underground we are somewhat constrained in space suitable for unexpected purposes."

[seewhathappens]

"Would anyone visit it?"

[alicornucopia]

"Assuming you continue to respect our borders and assume a minimally threatening posture it's certainly possible."

[seewhathappens]

"I fully intend to continue respecting your borders," he says. "How threatening you find me while I go about my business inside my own empire is not under my control; I have learned that through extensive experience."

[alicornucopia]

"There are more and less threatening ways to go about your business. So far you've been projecting a public face such that our plan A to keep you from encroaching on District Thirteen was to send a polite intern to the surface to ask nicely, but if you maintain or expand the Capitol's capacity to make war, disrespect our security precautions in any way, or otherwise indicate that the continued sovreignity of your neighbors is not a priority for you, you will begin to seem threatening."

[seewhathappens]

"I find the Capitol's methods for making war both distasteful and unnecessary," he says. "On my home planet I maintain a military whose main practical purpose is disaster relief and escorting diplomats, because no one has tried to invade my empire in many centuries; I anticipate something similar here, but I will not even need them to escort diplomats since I am acting as my own ambassador and require no escort."