here is a door

[alicornucopia]

And now this door is not itself any longer, not quite.

Comments

[cross_and_bow]

"If they're allergic to garlic it's not very. Pretty sure they can cross running water."

[maggie_of_the_owls]

"We get sunburns more easily than humans, have circadian rhythms that want us to be nocturnal, and dislike garlic but aren't allergic to it. A stake to the heart or cutting our heads off will kill us, but then that would kill a human too. I've heard rumors of vampires being harmed by holy symbols of religions they objected to for some reason, but nothing substantiated," Klaudia notes. "...Hm. Do your kind of vampire have a heartbeat?"

[cross_and_bow]

"No."

[maggie_of_the_owls]

"We...do, but it isn't exactly necessary. If we're hit by a heart-stopper curse it's mildly uncomfortable but it doesn't really hurt us. I think vampires do technically qualify as undead, but most kinds of undead are good at disguising themselves as living."
"Vampires," Gloria explains, "are not the only thing you can be that used to be human and isn't anymore. Werewolves I know are completely alive, but the rest..." she shrugs. "The, ah, artifact Jeanine mentioned? Saying it keeps Hepzibah alive isn't completely accurate."
Klaudia shoots Gloria a look.
"She's not from our universe, dearheart, I sincerely doubt she's going to have the opportunity to do anything untoward, and she hasn't given me any reason to mistrust her. But yes, there's a very good reason she speaks ancient Egyptian. And she looks perfectly vital."

[cross_and_bow]

"You've got a mummy cocktail waitress?"

[maggie_of_the_owls]

"Yes."

[cross_and_bow]

"That's sort of cute."

[maggie_of_the_owls]

"Okay? I'm not sure how it's any more cute in particular than the witch mixologist or the bar staffed almost entirely with supernatural beings being called 'Monster Mash' in the first place."

[cross_and_bow]

"No, I just mean, if I heard about a mummy at home it would probably be followed by 'and it is spreading around a curse that is causing everyone in town to hallucinate their worst nightmares and/or bleed from the eyes and/or burn all their toast, and then I'd have to kill it? And yours is a cocktail waitress."

[maggie_of_the_owls]

"Okay. I mean, I'm not disagreeing with you, she's a cute person."
Klaudia raises an eyebrow.
"Not that kind of cute, dearest."

[cross_and_bow]

Snort.

[maggie_of_the_owls]

"Um, hello? Gloria? Jeanine says you want me for something?"
"Speak of the devil," Gloria murmurs. "Shenanigans! Ones that aren't going to involve people trying to kill you this time!" Gloria calls out.
Presumably-Hepzibah comes into view. She looks like she could be Egyptian, and speaks with an implacable accent. "My favorite kind."

[cross_and_bow]

"Potentially lethal shenanigans are so much less fun. Hi, I'm Bella."

[maggie_of_the_owls]

"Hi, Bella. I'm Hepzibah. I assume that you're involved with the shenanigans somehow."

[cross_and_bow]

"Yep. In my universe I am what is called a vampire slayer, which occupation is needed because where I'm from vampires are almost invariably terrible serial killers. Also there are other, non-vampire things that fall under my job description. And my power set is stupid, so any little bit of extradimensional help could be a big deal if it's the right swag."

[maggie_of_the_owls]

"That's terrible. But what am I supposed to be able to do about it?"
"Run to Radioshack and pick up as many ultraviolet lasers as they have on the shelves. Her variety is flammably allergic to that bit of the electromagnetic spectrum."
"You're kidding."
"Don't I wish."

[cross_and_bow]

Bella pulls hers out and displays it. "I have some, but occasionally I manage to rescue a snack and I'd like to be more helpful than 'get jewelry with crosses on it and don't go out after dark or invite people into your house'."

[maggie_of_the_owls]

"Hunh. Well, sure. Do you have a company card on you, or should I get a receipt?"
"This is personal shenanigans, not business. Get a receipt, I'll reimburse you later out of my own money."

[cross_and_bow]

"Thanks."

[maggie_of_the_owls]

"If one of these things could maybe save a life, that's more than worth the price of however many of them there are."
"Wait, what's that room? It doesn't look like the back hallway."
"This is Bar. She's a worldhopping bar who periodically hijacks doors. She's how I met Bella."

[cross_and_bow]

"In my case instead of not looking like a back hallway it doesn't look like a dollar store."

[maggie_of_the_owls]

"And apparently they didn't have any laser pointers. All right, I'm off. Are we not opening tonight?"
"Jeanie's taking care of opening."
"Won't matter much if you send the entire staff off on errands."
"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it."
Hepzibah snorts. "You and your devil-may-care attitude. It's a wonder you've kept this place open this long. Well, it seems to be working, anyway. Radioshack ho." And she departs.

[cross_and_bow]

"Maybe you can get the bar here to mix drinks and save yourself the need for a bartender per se."

[maggie_of_the_owls]

"I think I'd still need someone to ferry the drinks out to the club."
"I doubt the bar here knows your particular recipes," Klaudia snorts.
"I don't think she needs a recipe, darling, she can do anything. Ooh, you never got to try me before I was turned either, I went first. You can get a glass of that if you want."
"What, really?" Klaudia asks, and goes over to investigate the bar.

[alicornucopia]

Hello. Can I get you a drink?