i wasn't looking for this

[from_scratch]

This is a successor to call me maybe and trade my soul for a wish, which were getting crowded.

with Emily (Maggie)

with Alex (ErinFlight)

with Destin (Rockeye)

with Nick (Rockeye)

Comments

[iamnotpolaris]

"Okay, cool. Ooh, speaking of warehouses full of things, you should see the size of the house we've got planned for Terraria, it's nearly as big as the boarding school we grew up at."

[from_scratch]

"Yeah? Who are you planning to fill it with?"

[iamnotpolaris]

"At this rate? Who knows."

[from_scratch]

"What are you going to do if you meet people incorrectly proportioned for it who desperately need homes? What then?"

[iamnotpolaris]

"It was already built to house a dragon. And Terraria houses are really easy to remodel."

[from_scratch]

"Are you equipped for lava-dwellers? Persons who require hard vacuum? Radioactive would-be residents who will need shielding to make good neighbors? Anything could happen!"

[iamnotpolaris]

"...I doubt we will land in the appropriate places to meet those people. The armbands won't randomly land us anywhere that just existing there would be harmful."

[from_scratch]

"But what if you land in an extremely unethical zoo and have to save all the variously habitatted inmates."

[iamnotpolaris]

"Then we would put them back where they came from, most likely."

[from_scratch]

"Their homeworlds have been tragically destroyed by space mice. ...Okay, now I'm just cribbing from shlocky sci fi."

[iamnotpolaris]

"I admit, I have never heard of schlocky scifi where peoples' home planets were destroyed by space mice. Regardless, it still seems most efficient to find them homes in their universe of origin than to criticize the fact that we did not take advantage of nonexistent resources to be absurdly prepared to house people," she says archly.

[from_scratch]

"Very well. Build your narrow-minded non-radiation-shielded home without a lava pool or belljar."

[iamnotpolaris]

"Alas. We shall simply have to console ourselves with our ability to house a dragon.

"...And the firepower such that we could totally take out Hypothetical Unethical Zoo in the first place."

[from_scratch]

"I am sure the zoodwellers will be delighted."

[iamnotpolaris]

"People often are when we intervene with things!"

[from_scratch]

"There will be epic poems about you. Ballads. A nine-season television series."

[iamnotpolaris]

"I call veto dibs on the actress who plays me."

[from_scratch]

"You'll count as a public figure. If you are allowed any input it will be the producer doing you a favor."

[iamnotpolaris]

"See if I rescue him when the next unethical zoo comes along if he doesn't."

[from_scratch]

"Would you really leave a helpless producer in an unethical zoo? For refusing to compromise his artistic integrity?"

[iamnotpolaris]

"Depends on whether or not 'artistic integrity' ends up equating to 'love of boobs'."

[from_scratch]

"You require accurate casting in the cup size department? That's your priority."

[iamnotpolaris]

"I require an actress who has merits other than cup size. Cup size is merely the most obvious irrelevant trait that a particularly poor director might choose to sacrifice more important actressy traits for."

[from_scratch]

"It's actually pretty gauche in my era to make derogatory jokes about large breasts or their aficionados, or I'm sure I'd have a joke."

[iamnotpolaris]

"Ah. Well, for me it is nineteen eighty-eight and there are more important groups to concern ourselves with."