a little young for that

[alicornucopia]

There is a red-eyed teenage boy - or so it would seem - positively interrogating the bar.

"Redreed wine?"

Aren't you a little young for that?

"I don't actually want any right now, but you know what it is?"

Of course.

"That... is interesting." He taps his fingers on the bar. "All right - I do, actually, want a chocolate iced planet."

And he gets a little square pastry, frosting on the top, and turns on his barstool to watch the comings and goings.

~~~

with Giles

with Lazarus

Comments

[alicornucopia]

"I suppose if I summoned, say, you, all I'd have to do to let you out to do whatever you liked would be smudge the chalk, but I could ward the chalk," says the dragon.

[jellyinthemix]

"And I am not a demon," he feels compelled to point out.

[alicornucopia]

"It'd be the same if I summoned one of your demons," shrugs Kaylo, "but I wouldn't know how to aim at one of those, as I have, thankfully, never met one."

[jellyinthemix]

"I wouldn't assume that no demon you might summon from my world could break whatever binding you might impose. As long as you never plan to test the theory, however, feel free."

[alicornucopia]

"Ostensibly, literally no offworlder can get out of a summoning circle without someone outside it smudging the chalk," says Kaylo. "Which has been tested, but probably not on the exact species you have in mind, here."

[jellyinthemix]

"I don't have an exact species in mind. This is just long years of experience with demons as a whole speaking. I might bet on your wards against a common Fyarl or even a master vampire, but not against a hell-god. And there are any number of species who can, for example, eat magic, or subvert any power or force that is turned against them except under very narrow circumstances. Or move through any surface in which their image is reflected. Or command the mind and soul of any who hear their true name."

[alicornucopia]

"If I did not value my life I'd probably want to come check out all these fascinating - things," says Kaylo. "Maybe if I hit three thousand and have most of my list of study topics whittled down."

[jellyinthemix]

"Well, none of the above has managed to kill me yet. You're free to take that as a reassuring sign."

[alicornucopia]

"You're probably a third my age," snorts Kaylo. "Forgive me if I'm a little more cautious."

[jellyinthemix]

"Naturally. No, in all seriousness, not visiting my world is a wise decision. I could recommend some demonology texts if you want to learn the details from a safe distance. Guaranteed one hundred percent demon-free."

[alicornucopia]

"How well-substantiated are those guarantees?" Kaylo inquires.

[jellyinthemix]

"I have personally read all of these books, and no demons emerged. I do know the difference between a book of binding and one of the more ordinary sort."

[alicornucopia]

"And these aren't liable to be picky demons that will sit tight in their books if they don't like the look of you or something?"

[jellyinthemix]

"No."

[alicornucopia]

"All right, I'll take recommendations then - Bar, if I could get a pen and paper?"

He gets a pen and paper.

[jellyinthemix]

"Let's see... there's the Keys Collated and Revised, in seven volumes, for a general introduction. The most comprehensive available source on vampires is simply titled Vampyr, but its unofficial title is the Leaden Brick for reasons that I'm sure will become obvious the first time you try to pick it up. Magic-eaters, mirror-walkers, and several varieties of usurper all appear in Journeys of the Damned. Demons who possess or command under unusual conditions are the main subject of Goetia Esoterica. I think that's everything I mentioned. Oh, and the Fyarl have their own page in Twelve Hundred Demonic Mercenaries, which contains only one thousand and fifty-eight species."

[alicornucopia]

Kaylo writes all this down. "I think you may have a few too many kinds of demon."

[jellyinthemix]

He snorts.

[alicornucopia]

"And none of them can fly? Or the ones that can all get to your planet from other planets?"

[jellyinthemix]

"The vast majority of demons originate from hell dimensions, if you go back far enough. Humans, and technically vampires, are the only intelligent species living on Earth who verifiably started out there. But yes, apart from that, very few demons can fly."

[alicornucopia]

"Our vampires can fly," remarks Kaylo.

[jellyinthemix]

"Ours can't. Well, one can, but Dracula is a special case in many respects."

[alicornucopia]

"Why, how does he do it?"

[jellyinthemix]

"He is a shapeshifter. Turns into, among other things, mist and bats. Or possibly one bat. Reports vary on the number and size of the bat or bats."

[alicornucopia]

"...How in the name of all shapeshifting logic ever would one vampire turn into several bats?"