planetary

[dark_light]

Over the next week, Isabella gets the alethiometer to tell her that the planets they looked at don't contain microorganisms that know what to do with a human body (although the one with the giant bugs has some multicellular parasites that might be able to make do with the foreign macro-scale features of a human body if they got the chance). "The present", it includes in one of its answer phrasings, which is kind of worrying. But Adarin makes enough progress with his scry in little enough time that it's worth the double-check.

Isabella also hires ticket-takers, gives them little pots of ink to verify the authenticity of the passes she handed out, and opens the Los Angeles - New York route for the employees of her three companies of choice and anyone who shells out a cool fifteen thousand dollars per round trip (ten K for a one-way). This is steep, but it's within an order of magnitude of what people sometimes pay for short-notice first-class cross-country flights - with less novelty and more hassle. Albeit she doesn't supply inflight meals. She expects to have to raise the price when more people hear about it in response to volume and then be able to drop it again.

By the time the thing has been open for a few days she's fired and replaced one ticket-taker and the others have settled into a routine that she's willing to try out leaving unsupervised for awhile.

If Adarin's up for some up close and personal planet shopping and his results suggest it'll go well, anyway.

Comments

[dark_light]

"Teenagers do other things, but those were the only two stupid slumber party games I ever learned."

[prodigal_miser]

"Ah, I see. Oh well. I'll get over the loss of stupid slumber party games. Eventually."

He pets Vern. "With therapy. Probably also some long talks with my kagu."

Vern snickers.

[dark_light]

"Ooh, should I be throwing psychiatric insurance with your stipend?"

[prodigal_miser]

"Probably. The other things I could handle, but no stupid slumber party games? A travesty."

[dark_light]

"Perhaps Wikipedia has a list of them. 'List of Stupid Slumber Party Games'. This list is incomplete. You can help by expanding it."

[prodigal_miser]

He giggles. "It did that with the gnomes. I just - I didn't know what to do. The world didn't need that! Wikipedia has failed!"

[dark_light]

Isabella giggles and hugs him.

[prodigal_miser]

He hugs her back! This is a bit hard to do with Vern being cuddled too, but he manages.

"I might have to renounce it as my facetious fiance, even."

[dark_light]

"But you have already sent the facetious wedding invitations! What will your facetious guests think? And the poor facetious flower girl will be so disappointed."

[prodigal_miser]

"She will, it's true, but I can't live a lie, Isabella. I'm marrying for love, damn it, not strange facts about garden gnomes and how they originated from Germany!"

[dark_light]

"Wikipedia has an article on love! At least one! Probably more if you'll count the Latin words!"

[prodigal_miser]

"It's not the same! I can't look at Wikipedia the same way, now that I know."

[dark_light]

"That's such a pity. You were so cute together. Do I need to stop inviting you to the same get-togethers?"

[prodigal_miser]

"I think so, it would be too awkward to look at Wikipedia, knowing that I facetiously broke its heart."

[dark_light]

"This is going to cause a huge rift in the extended social circle. Which of you will I invite to the wedding when I facetiously marry my alethiometer?"

[prodigal_miser]

"Me. Wikipedia is a home-wrecker and will try to steal the alethiometer from you."

[dark_light]

"Damn, I should have known there was something going on there when I read that extensive article on alethiometer symbols."

[prodigal_miser]

Adarin nods. "At least now you know. That's better than not knowing and finding out years later after you've facetiously married your alethiometer and had three adorable facetious children."

[dark_light]

"Yes. How ever shall I console myself from the breakup? For that matter, how can I bring myself to confront the alethiometer with what I know? It said it would never lie to me, Adarin!"

[prodigal_miser]

"Shhh, it's okay. You know what you need, Isabella?"

[dark_light]

"What?"

[prodigal_miser]

"Someone who's terrible at lying."

[dark_light]

"Now where would I find such a person?"

[prodigal_miser]

"It's a complete and utter mystery. Why, you have a stupid slumber party game based around lying, everyone from around here must be fantastic at it. You may not find such a person."

[dark_light]

"Perhaps I could search farther afield! I'm very well-traveled, you know."