call me maybe

[from_scratch]

Cam is out flying. There's a decent cloud of atmosphere around the gold plane, now, millenia of demons making air around themselves for comfort and not sealing it up because why would you bother. There's a small forest, here - the effect is kind of ruined by the lamps it has to grow under, but it's still pretty.

He feels an open summons and lets it grab him -

with the Joker (kappa)

with Ripper (kappa)

with Darren (Aestrix)

with Minus (kappa)

with Emma (Marri)

with Facility 3141592 (armokGoB)

with the admin (kappa)

with Jarvis (kappa, Aestrix)

with Miles (kappa)

with Hank (Nemo)

Comments

[from_scratch]

"Okay, thanks."

[steppingup]

Cable is shown! Look, there it is, a cable!

[from_scratch]

Cam plugs in and starts catching up on what all the world is like.

"Do critters have secret critter websites?"

[steppingup]

"Not that I know of. Why, want an outline of 'em?"

[from_scratch]

"Yes, please, that's one thing I know definitely differs."

[steppingup]

"Okay. Well, there are critters. General rule, if it exists in mythology, just assume it exists in real life. They get medallions, to pretend to be human or actually be mostly human, some kind of weird mix of the two. Their kids get free hidden humanhood from the medallion, but they can't turn to natural form on their own. Another medallion of the same type snaps the spell and then they need to keep that medallion."

[from_scratch]

"About what fraction of the population is some thing?"

[steppingup]

"That we know of, or what's actually there? We're all pretty sure it's a way higher number than what we think, basically."

[from_scratch]

"Ballpark."

[steppingup]

"... Anywhere from an eighth of the world's population to half. Possibly more. I might be overestimating, but I seriously doubt it."

[from_scratch]

"And this manages to be a secret. Well, that's kind of dumb."

[steppingup]

"Yup."

[from_scratch]

"Is there a particular reason? Evil critter shadow government threatens to send dragon assassins after you if you go on TV?"

[steppingup]

"I think the general consensus is that it's too much trouble and no one wants to try it. Plus an incredibly large fraction of my ballpark has no idea that they're critters."

[from_scratch]

"Right. Hmm."

[steppingup]

"Yeah. I mostly just get by. Human in on the weirdness. You want to change the world, talk to my son. Fifteen and determined to change the world." He sounds incredibly fond of him.

[from_scratch]

"I'm getting that." Cam is on Wikipedia and has conjured a second computer that is shaped like a stick and does very futuristic projecty things; he's comparing it to the laptop screen. "No major discrepancies so far..."

[steppingup]

"Mm. Good to know. Do you need to eat?"

[from_scratch]

"No, and I can just make food if I feel like it. Why, are you about to cook something? I can save you the trouble if you like."

[steppingup]

"I am about to cook something. But I am not turning down skipping straight to food."

[from_scratch]

"Cool, whaddaya want?"

[steppingup]

"... Uh, pick something, I'm not picky. Neither are my kids."

[from_scratch]

"Okay. Magically boneless ribeye and mashed potatoes and fancy salad and lemon pie? Do you want to supply serving dishes? I can't get rid of things as easily as I can make them. At home I take care of this problem with a black hole, but I should not do that in your house."

[steppingup]

"Thank you for your discretion," snorts Vernon. "I'll get plates."

He gets plates. Behold! Plates!

[from_scratch]

And they contain magically boneless ribeye, cooked to rare perfection, and garlic mashed potatoes, and an elaborate salad with nuts and cranberries and complicated dressing and cheese and mushrooms in it, and a lemon pie.