trade my soul for a wish

[from_scratch]

This is a successor to "call me maybe", which is getting crowded.

Cam is dipping a grilled cheese sandwich into a bowl of tomato soup when he feels the summons. He goes ahead and grabs it. Doesn't even drop the sandwich.


with Mark (kappa)

with Adanya (Aestrix)

with Sable (kappa)

with Ari (andaisq)

with Metella (kappa)

with Miles (kappa)

with Isabella (Eva)

with Steel (Rockeye)

with Daphne (Maggie)

with Edie (Maggie)

Comments

[from_scratch]

"I hesitate to agree, but I feel like most people would prefer it to the indefinite coma option, which I have been seriously considering, so... I mean, does it have any side effects or would it just be 'he wakes up in the police station and is a bit hindered in testifying when tried for being about to murder you'?"

[maggie_of_the_owls]

"It. Um. It involves enlisting the help of a succubus and having her fuck it out of him.
...I want it on record that I wouldn't even be bringing this up if it weren't something as big as malaria on the line and do not ordinarily condone this sort of thing. At all."

[from_scratch]

"...Okay, that's worse. That might be too much worse. I could try drugs with amnestic effects but those have side effects which are not trivially weighed against rape and wouldn't be totally reliable."

[maggie_of_the_owls]

"I mean, there's a decent chance he would consent to sex with a random beautiful woman. I definitely wouldn't be bringing it up if there weren't. And, y'know, I know some people who would be willing to sleep with her if this guy weren't interested."

[from_scratch]

"I'm not sure of the exact sort of case of the baskets this guy has, but I feel like most people awoken with their most recent memory being of trying to sacrifice someone to their dread divine lord and master would have priorities other than making time with random beautiful women. Are the 'some people' to apologize for wasting the succubus's time...?"

[maggie_of_the_owls]

"Pretty much, yeah. It was just a thought. How long would curing malaria take? A non-indefinite coma would be less harsh."

[from_scratch]

"I mean, curing malaria - or rather setting it up to go extinct without further intervention - would not take long, but that's just an example, you know? I am a fully qualified medical demon from the year 2159."

[maggie_of_the_owls]

"True. I suppose I could threaten him that if you disappear I'll do nasty horrible things to him--I don't like that idea much either, but it might keep him from wanting you gone and it's not like I'd need to follow through."

[from_scratch]

"Maybe we should just keep me out of sight and you can tell him that you have destroyed me with your ancestral silver athame or something."

[maggie_of_the_owls]

"That sounds as good a plan as any. I might go with 'smashed the summoning apparatus with my baseball bat and this caused you to be unsummoned' though, that's more plausible than that I have an ancestral silver athame."

[from_scratch]

"I could make you a distinctly non-ancestral silver athame but you'd know better than I if this would a plausible implement make."

[maggie_of_the_owls]

"It's more plausible to me, and this will affect my acting ability."

[from_scratch]

"Fair. So I let him come around while you drop him off with the cops - maybe I go with low safe doses of an amnestic too just for redundancy, and if he seems to remember I exist you tell him that I have stopped doing it."

[maggie_of_the_owls]

"This is a good plan."

[from_scratch]

"Okay. I'll keep him down till we get where we're going, then. Are the zip ties plausible or should I replace them?"

[maggie_of_the_owls]

"They're fine."

[from_scratch]

"All right. I will double-check my memory on amnestic drugs." Cam conjures an extremely futuristic computer-object. With no visible actions at all he zips around through file structures, finds what he's looking for, reads it, and remarks, "All right, trial dose of this one and see if he's allergic... aaaand he's not, good, I can nudge it up - and that should do it."

[maggie_of_the_owls]

"Is that a future computer?"

[from_scratch]

"I think we've settled on the theory that it is merely an extradimensional computer. But yes, this is a very recent-model demonic computer."

[maggie_of_the_owls]

"It's from a future! It's from farther ahead than this, anyway. It is futuristic."

[from_scratch]

"I will grant you that. Unfortunately, you cannot have one, because using it requires brain surgery."

[maggie_of_the_owls]

"Yep, that would be prohibitive."

[from_scratch]

"I mean, not strictly, but you'd have a much harder time of it than a daeva. I just made the chip in place and if I want to get rid of it the process is disturbing but not dangerous."

[maggie_of_the_owls]

"I'm not fond of the idea of introducing foreign matter to my brain. It's kind of the most important thing I have."

[from_scratch]

"Yeah. Speaking of the ongoing intactness of your brain, if after I've unleashed a hundred fifty years of medicine and terraformed at least one large sky rock and it's relatively lower in opportunity cost to determine if I can go to Hell and back - so to speak - if you summon me, or anyone else after this experiment yields its results, you may become a daeva when you die. I say may because of uncertainties about the interdimensionality but where I'm from it's quite consistent."