if i were yours

[floofcoaster]

Behold the wolf in his unnatural habitat, eating the foods of his people in traditional quantities, his typical companion away in the distant land of The Bathroom.

That is to say, Zeus is in Milliways with one and a half heavily topped pizzas, waiting for Harley and Andrea to come back.

Comments

[apprivoise_moi]

"'The empress of my world' was a little unclear that way."

[floofcoaster]

"Well, there's a bunch of her, and lots of them are empresses, but of other worlds. Also I have, like, wolf educational background, where there was not so much attention paid to 'oh by the way we technically live in Canada, Canada is technically a thing' and more to 'this is the empress, this is her kid, the princess is the alpha's imprint, we are pretty thoroughly attached to this shadow government here'."

[apprivoise_moi]

Snort.

"What, and miss out on Canada? Poor Canada."

[floofcoaster]

"We live kind of in the middle of nowhere? I mean, I've been places. My family goes to Burning Man every year. But the Canada thing is just not as relevant as alphas and imperials and whatnot."

[apprivoise_moi]

"Sure. I dunno, though, if I lived somewhere I'd want to live there."

[floofcoaster]

"I live in my town. There's people in it. Wolves and imprints and puppies, and every now and then the Capital passes through, although I don't like to hang out with full vampires because they smell."

[apprivoise_moi]

"They smell?"

[floofcoaster]

"And vice-versa. I guess I could do magic to it but I don't, like, have Internet friends who are vampires."

[apprivoise_moi]

"'Do magic to it'," she giggles. "Man, I wanna do magic to things."

[floofcoaster]

Zeus giggles. "What things?"

[apprivoise_moi]

"Thing things! Shapeshifting? Cake? I would make the greatest cake."

[floofcoaster]

"Harley prefers to make cake from scratch most of the time. And other stuff. He makes me omelettes. He makes really good omelettes."

[apprivoise_moi]

"Well, no wonder, if he's used to magic. I'm not used to magic."

[floofcoaster]

"Oh, I guess. He grew up with it. The princess kidnapped him from another world when he was a baby because of the shitty childhood thing."

[apprivoise_moi]

"Lucky Harley."

[floofcoaster]

"...Sort of? Apparently Jokers are, like, metaphysically supposed to suffer, so when he skipped the shitty childhood then he later had to have a teleporting accident and meet Alternate Universe Scarier Than Hitler Lady and also spend a few years in the sun repeatedly doing the thing that really really magicked people do instead of dying over and over. The princess had to knock me out so I wouldn't be conscious while he was missing."

[apprivoise_moi]

"He okay now?"

[floofcoaster]

"He's better. He's not leaving Andrea on me all the time anymore. There was a while before he woke me up and he wasn't doing so hot then."

[apprivoise_moi]

"Metaphysically supposed to suffer, huh? Sounds about right."

[floofcoaster]

"The princess kidnapped another one but he's like twelve so he's got it out of the way enough that it won't chase him, Glass says. She's the one who sees weird stuff like that."

[apprivoise_moi]

"Very kidnap-happy, this princess of yours."

[floofcoaster]

"It's just the two Jokers, nobody else. She had the other Jokers' approval."

[apprivoise_moi]

"Oh, don't get me wrong, I totally approve."

[floofcoaster]

"She's nice. When Harley didn't want to move away from Québec she stayed right next door to me till he grew up."

[apprivoise_moi]

"Aww."