planetary

[dark_light]

Over the next week, Isabella gets the alethiometer to tell her that the planets they looked at don't contain microorganisms that know what to do with a human body (although the one with the giant bugs has some multicellular parasites that might be able to make do with the foreign macro-scale features of a human body if they got the chance). "The present", it includes in one of its answer phrasings, which is kind of worrying. But Adarin makes enough progress with his scry in little enough time that it's worth the double-check.

Isabella also hires ticket-takers, gives them little pots of ink to verify the authenticity of the passes she handed out, and opens the Los Angeles - New York route for the employees of her three companies of choice and anyone who shells out a cool fifteen thousand dollars per round trip (ten K for a one-way). This is steep, but it's within an order of magnitude of what people sometimes pay for short-notice first-class cross-country flights - with less novelty and more hassle. Albeit she doesn't supply inflight meals. She expects to have to raise the price when more people hear about it in response to volume and then be able to drop it again.

By the time the thing has been open for a few days she's fired and replaced one ticket-taker and the others have settled into a routine that she's willing to try out leaving unsupervised for awhile.

If Adarin's up for some up close and personal planet shopping and his results suggest it'll go well, anyway.

Comments

[dark_light]

"Thank you for not conquering things with your magic. Gold star."

[prodigal_miser]

He snickers. "Thanks. I hope I get more of them. 'Did not use power to screw people over' 'Did not blow up a city'..."

[dark_light]

"You could probably fill a book with those. 'Did not commit genocide', 'did not torment small animals', 'did not kidnap the children of political figures'..."

[prodigal_miser]

"I will keep it under my pillow and take it out every night and see all of the terrible things that I didn't do."

[dark_light]

"In case you forget. Or need to cast a spell that refers to them all."

[prodigal_miser]

"Yes, it wouldn't do to forget a terrible thing that I didn't do. I might forget that it's terrible and then do it! And then I wouldn't have the gold star anymore."

[dark_light]

"You would be downgraded to silver star. It would be so embarrassing."

[prodigal_miser]

"I'd take out my book of stars, open to that page, and bam. Silver star in an entire page of golds. Like a scar upon my perfect record."

[dark_light]

"And then you would have to invent time travel! Just to fix it and undo your horrible thing."

[prodigal_miser]

"Yup. My book of golden stars must be exactly what it sounds like. No silver stars allowed, I am picky."

[dark_light]

"Now, wait, before you go composing yourself a star book, are you sure you have not done any horrible things ever?"

[prodigal_miser]

"Hmmm. Hmmmmmmm. Let's see, horrible things..."

He pretends to consider.

[dark_light]

"I might be cross with you if you have, be warned."

[prodigal_miser]

"I would expect nothing less. Oh, oh! Did I tell you about the time that I walked past a kitten in a tree... And didn't help it?"

[dark_light]

"Oh! Adarin! How could you!" exclaims Isabella in mock horror. "That poor kitten. How it must have cried itself to sleep, still in the tree, wondering what could possibly be wrong with it that you wouldn't help it down! How it could have disappointed you and whether it would ever get another chance!"

[prodigal_miser]

"I know," says Adarin solemnly. "I am a terrible monster. I don't deserve the book of gold stars, I left that poor kitten to fend for itself. Please, Isabella - forgive me."

[dark_light]

"It's not my forgiveness you need. It's that kitten's. You'll have to track it down, hat in hand, and offer it amends."

[prodigal_miser]

"Of course. It deserves nothing less - it may even be an adult, now, weary and cynical because of its misfortune in early life. Because of me, Isabella."

[dark_light]

"Adarin, I just realized - cats don't live that long - how long ago did you commit this atrocity?"

[prodigal_miser]

"Oh heavens. Oh heavens above and planes eternal, time is of the essence, it was years ago, my hidden, secret shame - Isabella, Isabella if I'm too late you need to make something to bring back the dead. I can't live like this, I'm a monster. I have to make it up to that cat."

[dark_light]

This is too much for Isabella. She bursts into peals of giggles.

[prodigal_miser]

Adarin joins her, laughing uncontrollably. "It's - so terrible, if cats find out they will protest."

[dark_light]

"You will be known to cats everywhere as -" (cackle) "Adarin the Unhelpful."

[prodigal_miser]

"It will -" (Giggle, snicker.) "go down in the history books as my title. My eternal shame, cats will never -" (Snicker.) "never be able to respect anyone that even looks like me, they'll be so disgusted."

[dark_light]

"Wherever you go cats will hiss at you. They will privately approve of the handful brave enough to offer violence! And none of it can ever accumulate to the point of making up for what you did, you cat-nonhelping evildoer."