barring emergencies

[the_very_best]

Bella's not sure where she has wandered. She thought she was about to walk into a shop, but this appears to be an unattended bar. With none of the windows associated with the shop she thought she was entering. It could be an elaborate psychic assault of some kind, but it doesn't feel very... assault-y... and she was in the middle of a town and doesn't think any humans want to sic their 'mon on her. It's strange. She approaches the bar, looking around warily, hand hovering near her belt.

with Max (Benedict)

with Earth and Lightning (kappa)

with Ann and Sabrina (kuuskytkolme)

Comments

[small_magics]

I don't give out employee details, writes the bar primly. They aren't the same person. They are alts.

[unblinkered]

"Alts," he repeats. "Alts. What's an alt?"

[small_magics]

Occasionally the same sort of person will appear in different universes. They will usually look more or less alike and share traits that are particularly key to the template in question, sometimes including things about their contexts within their home worlds, but otherwise vary.

The elf approaches the bar. Observing that Max has been talking to it, she says, "It would be good to know of your courtesy what manner of place this is."

She gets a napkin, which she reads with interest.

[unblinkered]

The same sort of... god, he should have asked that girl more personal questions, it would have made getting a shape of the similarities easier by virtue of being able to ask the elf as opposed to the cagey and put-upon sapient bar.

"Now- hold on, the same sort of... I have to assume, by the probability of this person appearing here, now, that... this isn't just, you have customers from an infinite number of universes and logically some of them are going to be similar. They're common enough for you to have a name for them."

[alicornucopia]

I suspect, says the bar, that the sort of person who has alts is also more likely to find the bar. But you probably want to be more conservative about how common a thing must be before I have a name for it.

[unblinkered]

"...No, that's not it, is it? If there are infinite universes... does that mean every possible universe exists? Does every conceivable universe... countably vs uncountably... sorry, the thing I was getting at is- under the assumption that all universes exist rather than a merely infinite number, that's, that's probably not a safe assumption..."

He shakes his head.

"The question is, are alts a Thing, some sort of common template that proliferates more commonly than chance in a mere countably infinite set of universes, implying that they are significant in and of themselves without reference to this bar... or are they just... an artifact of which universes the door chooses to open to? It would imply... not that they're selecting for humanness necessarily, but that they're searching for universes that contain specific people- people close enough to some idea of who-they're-looking-for, that they decide to open the door to them, and not to, say, a random location on the Plane Of Infinite Featureless Jell-O Pudding."

Max is not optimistic about the chances of the bar having a particular interest in these questions of metaphysics. From what he's been able to gather, she just wants to serve drinks, and is only answering his questions to be polite.

[alicornucopia]

I don't think every possible universe exists, at least not yet, but I couldn't say for sure. You might have to be more specific about how often you'd expect any of these things to occur 'by chance'. Although I will mention that a plane like the one you just made up would be unlikely to contain doors or people to open them.

[unblinkered]

"...I think it'd be the lack of people thing, yes. I somehow doubt that whatever engine powers the interdimensional travel here requires doors as a fundamental piece of its operation. I... assume if the boss or bosses did want to make the door open to somewhere with no people, they could."

The alternative is a deeper level of weird than he's willing to contemplate right now.

[alicornucopia]

The door doesn't work that way, although occasionally people have found their way here through other mechanisms.

[unblinkered]

"Sure, sure."

A thought strikes him. He's not sure why it didn't strike him until just now.

"...what do you do with money, anyway? Do you have... a business model, or what?"

[alicornucopia]

I don't keep it for myself. I'm just obliged to charge. To be honest, I'm not sure if people who pay by credit actually see their amounts deducted on a consistent basis.

[unblinkered]

"...well. That's... I can't imagine why that would be. Surely, anyone powerful enough to create you and this place in the first place doesn't need money for anything."

Max's eye turns to the elf. She's been quiet- must be a lengthy napkin, if she hasn't asked any more questions.

[small_magics]

I think it may be for economic reasons relating to the patrons' home worlds, but there are enough odd edge cases that it's a decidedly haphazard solution to such problems.

It is indeed a long napkin - the elf has unfolded it - but she is coming up on the end of it. "I would like some tea," she tells the bar, "if you don't mind."

The bar supplies her a teapot and teacup. She pours. She sips.

"This is, I think, the finest tea it has ever been my pleasure to drink."

[unblinkered]

"Yeah, it does that. Coffee I ordered was magically perfect. Kinda casts doubt on the idea that it doesn't read minds, considering how people's tastes vary."

[small_magics]

"That would be - distressing, but - mm - no, the tea is good quality but it is not ideal, I think. I like it but it is seasonally appropriate and I prefer autumn blends."

[unblinkered]

He raises an eyebrow.

"Elves have autumn blends? They- and you have tea, okay, and humanoid physiology and okay that was a useless observation."

...Elves, while presumably being one of many types of people in this bar's multiverse he doesn't know about, are the thing-he-doesn't-know-about that have a representative sitting right next to him.

"So... elves! What... actually, I don't know how to begin asking how you're different from humans, since you don't... do you have humans?"

[small_magics]

The elf frowns at him, but says, "There are humans in my world, yes."

[unblinkered]

"Humans, as in... I guess there are too many questions to find one to start with. I mean... I'm probably not going to your world, so the only thread I can chase is raw curiosity."

He drums his fingers on the bar.

"So... what's it like in Elf World?"

[small_magics]

"My world's name is Thilanushinyel, and in it, elves find it highly impolite to ask questions outside of emergencies."

[unblinkered]

"It's impolite to ask questions? What in the... how does that work? What's impolite about questi-"

Oh. Wait. Crap. Hold on. That was just- he just asked three questions immediately after being told...

"I mean, um... I... I didn't..."

...he's got nothing.

[small_magics]

"A straightforward replacement is to state the desire to know something. It is inelegant but not outright rude, as it does not so directly demand information."

[unblinkered]

"Directly demand... really? I mean- that- I register surprise, that wasn't a question, 'really', just- christ, that's weird. I wonder why... if there's this universal translator, and... I'd assume whatever language you're really speaking, under the hood... the grammar for question-asking would be special, a clearly different form that makes the demand explicit. Am I-"

He stops.

"...I'd like to know, but don't demand a response about, whether I'm right about questions having special syntax in your language. In the language that I'm really speaking, questions are... basically like what you're saying, stating the desire to know something, followed by a description of the thing, except the desire-to-know is indicated with like... it flips the subject and the verb, and there's a little inflection at the end, and that's it. Ingrained as a normal part of language. I mean... I should get Anna in here sometime, she's a linguist, she'd get like ten different research papers out of this."

[small_magics]

"There are grammatical markers for questions. They are economical in time and in cutting down on extraneous social niceties, and are acceptable from small children or in times of war or other emergency, but not from polite adults, among elves."

[unblinkered]

"But I guess humans in your world, they speak-"

Oh, wait. Max has an idea.

"Actually, hang on, let me try something. I'm gonna say, right here: 'Hola! No habla Espanol!' and- if you like, tell me what it just sounded like I said there."

[small_magics]

"Hello, I do not speak Spanish," she repeats slowly.