barring emergencies

[the_very_best]

Bella's not sure where she has wandered. She thought she was about to walk into a shop, but this appears to be an unattended bar. With none of the windows associated with the shop she thought she was entering. It could be an elaborate psychic assault of some kind, but it doesn't feel very... assault-y... and she was in the middle of a town and doesn't think any humans want to sic their 'mon on her. It's strange. She approaches the bar, looking around warily, hand hovering near her belt.

with Max (Benedict)

with Earth and Lightning (kappa)

with Ann and Sabrina (kuuskytkolme)

Comments

[unblinkered]

He stares at the napkin. That's. Basically sort of mind-reading.

"Right. Previous concepts. So..."- he puts his hands to his head- "You know, effectively, the definition of, and enough technical knowledge to synthesize rather than make a nonfunctional replica of, any medium-sized object anyone who speaks any language or dialect has a word for?"

That is... there are frightening implications, here.

[the_very_best]

Nonmagical objects, clarifies the bar. And there is some fuzz around the borders of constructed langauges and codes, some of which give me some trouble, and of course if you refer to something strictly fictional which cannot be made to work without magic I can't necessarily figure out how to make it for you.

[unblinkered]

"Well. Okay. That's... that's terrifyingly powerful. But... other limits, I assume if I asked for 'a piece of paper containing a detailed description of your boss or bosses and their motives', that wouldn't work- nor would it for any other oracular sort of thing?"

Because that would be too easy.

[the_very_best]

It wouldn't work because they have never published such a thing. I am unable to author the piece for you myself.

"Ooh, but you can do arbitrary books that have been published?"

Of course.

"Are those borrowable? Are you a library?"

I am a bar, but I can loan you books.

[unblinkered]

Books?

Max likes books. Books have a habit of monopolizing his attention.

"Books! Books- arbitrary- are we restricted to books that have been published in our universes? Could we order, for instance, published texts from other worlds describing how to build advanced technology?"

[the_very_best]

I can provide books from any universe as long as you either specify which you want or elect to accept my recommendations.

"What about ones that are out of print - like, really old books?"

Nothing is out of print here.

[unblinkered]

The Library of Alexandria. And the Library of Allegedly Infinite Alternate Universe Alexandrias. And the Library Of Alternate Universe Future Technology That Can Make Him Very Very Rich. Nothing is out of print here.

Max's frustration and suspicion evaporates, and his jaw hangs open. This is probably what a religious experience is like, he thinks.

[the_very_best]

The girl laughs at him and names a book that she would like to borrow. The bar gives it to her, and she takes it and goes to sit by the fireplace. She releases a Pokémon to sit on her lap and be petted while she reads.

[unblinkered]

"Your... recommendations, I guess... do you have anything introductory on faster-than-light travel, by someone in a universe similar to mine?"

He has just under 24 hours to soak up as much lucrative knowledge as possible before paying another sixty-five dollars or leaving. Going straight for the big guns.

[alicornucopia]

How's this?

"This" is a fat textbook in fine print that says it was published in 2274. It is entitled "Interstellar Physics: History, Principles, and Engineering, vol. 1-6 (Omnibus Edition)".

[unblinkered]

"This" will do nicely. He skims the chapter headings quickly to make sure it's comprehensible enough, and takes it over to a seat by the window.

[the_very_best]

It's kind of heavy on the math and not exactly written for pleasure reading, but the front matter suggests that it's suitable for secondary school (which it identifies as "ages 7-10", but it also claims to have been published on Mars).

The girl finishes her much shorter book, orders an omelette and sandwich and food for all six of her Pokémon, asks for a handbook on working Security, reads it, signs on for a job, goes to sit in the Security office, comes back after a four-hour half-shift during which a few people who seem to be regulars and just want to eat come in and go out and don't make any trouble, gets a couple other things to read and reads them, and then departs the bar.

[small_magics]

And then, apparently, ages six years, gets cosmetic ear surgery, and completely changes in dress sense, forgetting in the intervening time that Milliways exists, because she sure looks puzzled.

[unblinkered]

Max looks up from his book.

"What the- what? You! What are you doing back here? What happened to you?"

[small_magics]

She looks rather taken aback. She tucks her hair behind one pointed ear.

"I See you, but have not, I think, seen you before. Nor this place."

[unblinkered]

"Your ear! What- your ears! What do you mean you haven't- what? What is this? You're not- who...?"

[small_magics]

"I am an elf. Perhaps you have not met an elf before."

[unblinkered]

"Elf- you- oh, god, she mentioned elves, the damn bar- but- but you're her, what was her name, the one with the Pokémon! You're definitely her!"

[small_magics]

"I have never seen you before and do not know what a Pokémon might be."

[unblinkered]

"...Tell you what, I'm gonna take you at your word there. Let me check something."

He stomps over to the bar.

"Bar! What's this all about? Why's she an elf now? Did you do this?"

[small_magics]

The elf you just spoke to has never previously visited here. I have no control over who is and is not offered a door, the bar napkins.

(Napkins from the previous conversation have been quietly cleared away.)

[unblinkered]

"Yeah, okay, she told me that part. Except... wait, d'you not have eyes or something? She looks and sounds exactly like... what was her name, the trainer girl. Like, exactly."

[small_magics]

You never asked the trainer's name, the bar points out. The elf looks and sounds similar - I can see, and hear - but is from a different world and a different species.

The elf, meanwhile, is slowly scanning the environs of the bar; she is apparently captivated by the window.

[unblinkered]

Spectacularly helpful as usual, he grumbles internally.

"Yeah, I- I didn't think I'd need her name, whatever- she signed up for your Security thing, right? What'd she put down on the form? And- no, wait, that's not the point, the point is why can she be the same person but a different species, this is a new kind of weird!"

[small_magics]

I don't give out employee details, writes the bar primly. They aren't the same person. They are alts.