delta v over delta t when there is no t

[ertia]

In a bar, there is a girl.

She looks like she has saved up all of her decadent and slothful impulses for a solid decade and is indulging them all at once. She is sprawled on a couch with a book she's only half-reading, and an ice cream sundae, and smiiiiiiling.

Comments

[ertia]

"Sounds like things I can totally do!"

[cheerfulish]

"Well, then, please do them," she says. "Everyone is very worried, particularly about the ravening fiends."

[ertia]

"How did you come to have such a ravening fiend problem?"

[cheerfulish]

"We are not entirely sure. That is part of what my research group is working on," she says. "Things like that are not normally such a big problem - if someone had created these ravening fiends a year ago, they would have been destroyed before they reached my town and I probably would never have heard of them. Accidents of that sort happen frequently in alchemy. But because of the recent changes to the climate, our alchemical gardens have been mostly wiped out, and then the fiends ate most of the rest, and now our essence reserves are very low and we cannot grow very many plants to replenish them, because no one can leave the citadel without risking being eaten by fiends."

[ertia]

"What is essence exactly? I mean, I can probably just fix all the described problems without a lot of detail but I wouldn't want to miss something important."

[cheerfulish]

"Alchemical essences are the components that make up all the things in the world," she says. "The five fundamental essences are Void, Chaos, Order, Light, and Matter. I have a set of essence spheres with me if you would like to look at them."

[ertia]

"I'm curious, and while you're in here no one is getting eaten, so yes please."

[cheerfulish]

The worried young adult human rummages in a pouch and pulls out a tennis-ball-sized sphere of something resembling pale blue glass.

"This is Mana essence in solid form," she says. "It is dangerous to touch if you are not a trained alchemist."

[ertia]

"Why, what happens?"

[cheerfulish]

"When a purified essence comes into contact with an unprepared living thing, it causes an unpredictable reaction," she explains. "Unpredictable alchemical reactions are not very safe. Mana essence is the safest one, and solid essences are safer than other forms, so it would probably not do worse than sting a bit, but I think it is still better to warn people."

[ertia]

"What happened to your climate? More alchemy accidents?"

[cheerfulish]

"A different research group is trying to figure that out. I think last I heard they thought it was probably someone on another continent trying to alter growing conditions for their plants, but they were not very sure and it could have been something else. The alchemy field needs higher safety standards."

[ertia]

"Is there by any chance some fairly simple thing that, if it were the case, would make alchemy a lot safer?"

[cheerfulish]

"...I am not sure," she says. "Nothing very obvious springs to mind. If people were not so inclined to thoughtlessly go around creating ravening fiends by accident, that would certainly help, but I do not think that is the sort of problem an omnipotent sorceress can or should fix."

[ertia]

"Yeah, I don't want to go around implanting safety standards in people's heads."

[cheerfulish]

"I think doing that sort of thing belongs in the same general category as destroying the climate and creating ravening fiends."

[ertia]

"Yes, quite, I'll avoid it. If I just put the climate back will some process continue to pull it towards whatever inconvenient thing it's doing, do I need to address an underlying cause there?"

[cheerfulish]

"There is probably an underlying cause but I do not know what it is."

[ertia]

"Maybe I can find it. I can at least reset the climate to give you more time to figure it out."

[cheerfulish]

"That would be very helpful. If you do that and get rid of all the fiends I think we can sort the rest out on our own."

[ertia]

"Can do! Lemme go get my..." ...dragon? Boyfriend? Co-sorcerer? Source of power? The fuck even is he? "...partner and he can do some sorcering too, but he's not omnipotent so he'll have to keep it to smaller scales."

[cheerfulish]

"Perhaps he can help us replenish our essence supplies, or keep the fiends away from the citadel, or assist you in finding out what happened to the climate," the alchemist suggests. She puts away her essence sphere.

[ertia]

"Supply-replenishing definitely, sub-omnipotent sorcery is not so good at detective work and I'm planning to rid you of the fiends first thing. ...Provided you're very sure the fiends are not somehow people, in which case I'd have to do something more complicated."

[cheerfulish]

"The fiends are alchemical constructs. They have less mind than most animals and some plants."

[ertia]

"Okay then, I'm good to go on that in one fell swoop."