yeah that happens if you turn into a vampire

[cross_and_bow]

(prologue)

Bella slips into the school by a side door; she just saw a thing and she thinks she's seen it in a book before and thinks it's supposed to be mostly harmless but before she wakes Giles up over probably nothing or kills a likely neutral demon she wants to check.

And she pushes into the library.

Comments

[thisvorlunatic]

"I'm not totally sure I shouldn't just be running a solo infiltration and assassination, if all this person has on their side is lots of the big lumbering things that wipe the floor with you in a fair fight but go down to nerve disruptors," he says. "At least assuming that this person would themselves also go down to a nerve diruptor. I can cooperate you if that's what you think would be most effective, but it sounds... awkward."

[cross_and_bow]

"I don't know if it's a human, a demon, or what," she says. "No idea if it goes down to nerve disruptors or not. Almost certainly knows magic besides 'summon lumbering things'."

[thisvorlunatic]

"So you're the expert in local phenomena and I'm the expert in military operations and the only available weapon that works on lumbering statue people. That doesn't point to an obvious answer for who should be commanding this mission."

[cross_and_bow]

"Is this the sort of problem I solve by suggesting that you are a mercenary and I'm hiring you for your pick of the perp's loot or what?"

[thisvorlunatic]

"Normally my employer doesn't take field command. Normally I'm also a genius at field command. I'm still pretty good, I haven't lost every relevant skill, but there's definitely an edge I'm missing. I am interested in discovering how to maximize our combined effectiveness and I genuinely don't know whether that looks like me in command, you in command, or establishing no firm structure and hoping for the best." Pause. "Full disclosure, even when my social skills aren't broken I have a huge insubordination problem."

[cross_and_bow]

"I'm not unwilling in principle to send you down a hole alone," she says, "but if you die and your nerve disruptor's down there with you I have to jump in blind to get it to finish the job."

[thisvorlunatic]

"And does that sound better or worse than coming along and hiding behind me while I disintegrate untold numbers of screaming statues, then maybe or maybe not popping out to contribute to the murder of their creator?"

[cross_and_bow]

"...Is there some trick to hiding behind you that eludes me?"

[thisvorlunatic]

"And we can now tick 'short jokes' off the list," Miles sighs.

[cross_and_bow]

"Sorry, that was uncalled for. Anyway, I can hang back and be ready to pick the thing up if you drop. I don't feel a strong need to give orders, just information if I discern information, and I consider 'duck' valid advice from most sources, including from anybody who's shooting things on my behalf, will that do?"

[thisvorlunatic]

"Probably good enough to be going on with. God I miss my soul so much."

[cross_and_bow]

"Do you tolerate people who quip when they're adrenaliney better when you have a soul? Car's this way," she adds, waving him over.

[thisvorlunatic]

Thataway he goes.

"If I had a soul I would be navigating our interactions better in general, but also I wouldn't need to gradually and effortfully force myself to like you and since that project would not exist in the first place it wouldn't be getting set back every time you find and push another of my buttons."

[cross_and_bow]

"Do you have, like, a list, so I could avoid them better, or what?" She hops in the driver's seat.

[thisvorlunatic]

He hops in the passenger seat.

"A list in what format? I could tell you which ones you've located so far, or I could tell you that and explain in more depth why I prefer that you not do those particular things... I'm not sure I have a preexisting list of all the things you might do that would upset me. And some of them are really unlikely." He blinks, acquires a momentary distant look, and then snorts with wry amusement. "Oh, hell."

[cross_and_bow]

"You'll have to be more specific, we're lousy with hells around here."

[thisvorlunatic]

He laughs. "No, sorry, it's just - I was going to say, 'I can't imagine why you would take me prisoner and hold me in a room with the lights on all the time', and then it finally occurred to me that - you remember I told you about those prisoners who were being psychologically tortured - I spent six weeks among them before I managed to free them, undercover as a fellow prisoner, and for some reason I'd been going around all this time since then thinking that since I'd only been pretending, it obviously didn't count as real psychological torture in my case, and I have now recognized what utter bullshit that whole line of reasoning was."

[cross_and_bow]

"Ah. Well. I can't imagine why I'd do that to you either."

[thisvorlunatic]

"I feel very confident that you won't!"

[cross_and_bow]

"Great! Something we can just unproblematically agree on."

[thisvorlunatic]

Snort.

[cross_and_bow]

Drive drive drive orange trees smashed-up beehives.

She parks.

"Voila."

[thisvorlunatic]

"Time to disintegrate a lot of screaming statues. Please stay out of my line of fire. I have been grazed by a nerve disruptor before and the statue's horrible screams convey the sensation pretty accurately."

[cross_and_bow]

"How wide a beam is it?" she asks, hopping out of the car.

[thisvorlunatic]

He gestures a range of diameters between about two and twelve inches. "The strength of the effect varies with distance from the center, and the beam spreads out as it travels through the air. The inner beam is permanent nerve damage, death if it gets you in the brain; the outermost edge is temporary excruciating pain; in between, and after it passes beyond its maximum fully effective range, you're taking your chances."