barring emergencies

[the_very_best]

Bella's not sure where she has wandered. She thought she was about to walk into a shop, but this appears to be an unattended bar. With none of the windows associated with the shop she thought she was entering. It could be an elaborate psychic assault of some kind, but it doesn't feel very... assault-y... and she was in the middle of a town and doesn't think any humans want to sic their 'mon on her. It's strange. She approaches the bar, looking around warily, hand hovering near her belt.

with Max (Benedict)

with Earth and Lightning (kappa)

with Ann and Sabrina (kuuskytkolme)

Comments

[unblinkered]

"Wha- my foundational- no, that's not!"

He sputters for a bit, trying to find words.

"No, this- this implies that my foundational assumptions don't even work locally! I... I'm a human being, and my world's foundational assumptions predict that our existence should be extremely unlikely given starting conditions, and our fiction even more unlikely than that... but a completely different set of foundational assumptions taken from a random alternate universe, the kind that enable that thing-" - he points at the Linoone- "also produced human beings?!" - gesturing at the girl.

"There's... are most visitors here human? Did the door just select us from our universes because our dominant lifeforms were so unusually similar? What- how could there be a match like this?!"

[the_very_best]

Humans are commonplace but by no means the only visitors, says the bar. I don't know why you are here at the same time on such a slow day.

"Have you considered the possibility that somebody learned about Pokémon here or something, and then went home and made a video game about them because they're cool?" inquires the girl.

[unblinkered]

He pauses. "That... makes sense, that addresses that problem, but... humans are commonplace? That wouldn't be... my 'local' foundational assumptions, they give rise to explanations about... how human beings happened, and how they function as a result of how they happened, as a product of those assumptions. If an infinite number of universes contain... if humans are common, then... the unlikeliness built into our physics is incoherent."

Unless...

"Unless... you said there were an infinite number of universes, but the door... we know the door discriminates about where to open itself. Humans... may still be improbable under a wide set of possible... physics-s, but the door ignores the universes that don't contain... things that it understands, humans or things close enough to human that this bar would make sense. Am I close?"

[the_very_best]

If nothing else, says the bar, it does tend to limit itself to sorts of people who can interact sensibly with the dimensions and furnishings of this environment. Humans are still more commonplace than, for instance, elves, and I could not begin to speculate on why.

[unblinkered]

"Elves?! That- for god's sake, I suppose that's one of those nonfiction things, too... but as for speculation, it'd mean... the bosses, the door, the whoever... they prefer... it's an obvious anchor, they're human and prefer doing... whatever it is they're doing, to other humans, or people close enough to humans."

There's that manipulation at play again. Silicon-based hive-mind aliens with inhuman psychologies, less likely to be manipulated in the usual ways. Bring in people you can understand, who you can control...

But that comes back around the the same question- he mutters it under his breath- "why?" Why the bar, why the door, with the power to open doors to anywhere... what could they be after that they couldn't take for themselves?

[the_very_best]

"Do 'mon ever find the door by themselves?" the girl asks the bar.

I don't recall any specific instances, but it may have happened at some time in the past.

[unblinkered]

"Why would wild animals be going around opening doors? Does that thing work with pet doors?"

[the_very_best]

"Well, not all 'mon are wild. Zag's smart enough to open full-sized doors. Juu has hands, she can manage it too."

[unblinkered]

"Great, okay. I'm sure that's really convenient for you, with monsters roaming around who know how doorknobs work. My question is..."

His question is "can I get another coffee", because that was a good coffee, but... it's only the first one that's free, isn't it? If there's a trap, it's here. He asks a different question.

"What would another coffee cost?"

[the_very_best]

$1.75 in your currency.

"Wild 'mon don't know how to open doors by and large," clarifies the girl. "So the ones who do know don't roam."

[unblinkered]

Money?!

"Just... a buck seventy five... what if I don't have change? I won't have to do any... favors?"

The thing about Pokémon and doors is perfectly reasonable, he assumes. He's going to have to call up Isaac and ask him a lot of extremely silly questions.

[the_very_best]

I can make change, the bar promises. I can also take arbitrary currency as used anywhere in the multiverse, and in some cases at my own discretion, outright barter.

[unblinkered]

...Max pulls out a pair of bills from his wallet and lays them on the counter. He watches them intently- there's no cash register, and no cashier. Is she going to disappear his money?

[the_very_best]

Two singles vanish. One American quarter appears.

[unblinkered]

As does another coffee. He is alarmed momentarily by the possibility of the bar disappearing money from places other than the countertop, and then realizes that physical bartenders are also capable of stealing from their customers, but don't do so for a number of reasons.

...he discreetly double-checks his wallet anyway.

"So... what am I supposed to do, here? What do people usually do, besides order drinks?"

[the_very_best]

Meet other patrons - it's usually more crowded than this. There are rooms upstairs which may be rented and some people stay here for extended periods of time. There is a backyard, with a lake and a forest. People borrow books and other media from me, from their own or other worlds; borrowing is free if you return the object in good condition. Occasionally people go to other worlds through the door, which may be accomplished by going through while someone from the world you wish to visit holds the door for you.

"Ooh," says the girl. "How much are rooms?"

They vary by size but begin at ¥1500/subjective day spent within Milliways, in your currency.

"That's a steal for a hotel room," whistles the girl, "if they're at all nice."

Unlike hotel rooms they do not come with amenities beyond basic furnishings, although they do all have ensuite bathrooms.

[unblinkered]

"...and how much is that in dollars? I'd be interested in staying longer, unless there's some way to get back here reliably."

[the_very_best]

$65, says a napkin. I can't tell you what your door acquisition traits might be without information that doesn't exist until you leave and come back a few times.

[unblinkered]

Sixty five dollars a day... not something that an out-of-work substitute teacher can afford regularly.

"I... suppose I can afford one day here, to investigate. If time is frozen out there, I'm at least going to want to get my biorhythms in order so I don't start getting tired early."

He pulls a debit card from his wallet. "Do you have... a card reader, or something, or do you just... magically scan it?"

[the_very_best]

I magically scan it, the bar says. One smallest-size room for one day, and will that be all on this card?

"What's that?" the girl asks him.

[unblinkered]

"It's a credi- er, debit card. In my world, we keep most of our money in electronic accounts, and... this thing is sort of a standardized way of controlling access to... I use it to pay for things. You have orbs that atomize and contain superpowered monsters, and you're thrown by credit cards?"

As an aside, he asks the bar if Milliways has compatible power outlets- he's going to want to take notes on his laptop, and it's low on battery.

[the_very_best]

"We have electronic money, we just don't use cards that look like that!" says the girl.

[unblinkered]

"Oh? So you have... differently-decorated cards? Psychic pokémon bank tellers? ID numbers?"

He looks around for a napkin on the subject of power outlets. If the bar's aesthetic is a product of the home culture of its owners, presumably some sort of human, he predicts that if there are power outlets, they'd be some common Earth type.

Or, no, scratch that, he predicts they're probably magic and conform to the power interface requirements of whoever's using them, because they can do that kind of thing apparently. Or they're not there to discourage loitering.

[the_very_best]

The napkin says, indeed, Outlets in rooms - as well as the plumbing and if necessary the ceiling height and furniture size - adjust to match occupants. You will find twenty-first century American three-prong power outlets in convenient locations.

"I have a Pokétch app. And a guild ID, for intraguild transactions. I don't think I've ever seen a 'mon working for a bank except as a security guard."

[unblinkered]

Max remembers the "buying any nonmagical object" thing, and decides to investigate that.

"So... buying things that aren't drinks, anything nonmagical. What are... the limits on how much you know about an order? If an alien walked in and asked for a znorfblarg, please, would you just know what that was? Would they have to describe it to you, would you have trouble fabricating something unusual?"

In the first case, it'd imply some magic inferential or oracular power whose limits could bear further testing. In the second case, the cultural vocabulary of the bar's creators could be triangulated by investigating the bar's menu. He has a good feeling about this avenue.

"And you- what's a Po-catch?"