delta v over delta t when there is no t

[ertia]

In a bar, there is a girl.

She looks like she has saved up all of her decadent and slothful impulses for a solid decade and is indulging them all at once. She is sprawled on a couch with a book she's only half-reading, and an ice cream sundae, and smiiiiiiling.

Comments

[first_and_final]

The moment they emerge from the stairwell, the unicorn yells from his spot by the door:

"THE WILD MAGIC SAYS YOU SHOULD FIX THE THING WHERE UNICORNS ARE UNCOMFORTABLE AROUND PEOPLE WHO AREN'T VIRGINS"



Milan snorts.

[ertia]

Kithabel fixes the thing.

"I hadn't realized I was advertising any facts of that nature. You could have mentioned before it caused you discomfort and then we would all be much happier."

[pythbox]

"I didn't know it was going to come up!" the unicorn exclaims.

[ertia]

"And I could not possibly have warned you unless I wanted to go around omnipotently absorbing unvolunteered facts from people around me, which I consider a really sketchy thing to do!"

[pythbox]

"Well I'm sorry that you suddenly made me feel like my fur was turning into needles and if I could've made being around nonvirgins stop doing that years ago I definitely would have but here we are," says the unicorn. "Thank you for fixing the thing. The Wild Magic says you will have to fix it again once you're properly in my world because the door was closed this time. The people writing down the list of dead Bondmates finished and got impatient and closed the door so they wouldn't have to wait."

[ertia]

"Right then. I can just do that all in one go now, it'll ding Milan's variety if he does it."

[first_and_final]

"The Wild Magic has some suggestions for you both if you want to fix more things in its world," says the unicorn.

"We definitely do!" says Milan.

Suggestions ensue. Kithabel can resurrect Bondmates and take the unicorn (his name is Liselen) with her to a list of subsequent locations for major fixes like restoring the damaged ecosystem in one-third of a continent and demolishing an unwanted mountain. Milan can stay a little closer to home, remodel the cave system where the dragons live to accomodate the expanded population, tweak some large-scale weather patterns nearby, raise an island off the nearby coast to stave off future overcrowding issues, revive some extinct species of plant...

[ertia]

It's a fun and productive day!

[first_and_final]

Very fun and very productive!

And then Liselen thanks them and they return to Milliways. Perhaps they will celebrate their fun and productive day there.

[ertia]

Sounds like a plan.

[first_and_final]

Awesome.

[ertia]

It is, it is!

[first_and_final]

And Milan has outrageous sparkly wings. They are snuggly. And outrageous. Someday perhaps he will get over this fact but today is not that day.

[ertia]

Kithabel likes them too!

[first_and_final]

Oh good. It is good that Kithabel likes them.



At some point Milan finds the time to mention, "You know, you need it much less now that you're omnipotent, but are you going to turn into a vampire? It seems like it might help you wield your omnipotence more efficiently."

[ertia]

"It seems a little redundant, but I might as well try it and see if I like it, I suppose."

[first_and_final]

"I have only good things to say about the magical vampire crush experience. It's not that different from the magical dragon crush experience, but I definitely have a preference."

[ertia]

"All right. You got it over quick so I see no reason to be patient."

Pop.

"Okay, you're right, that's different and now I want to have sex again."

[first_and_final]

"What a great idea."

[ertia]

And things proceed in a more or less balanced rotation of Mated Vampire Activities and Solving Worlds' Problems.

It is great.

[cheerfulish]

Worlds' Problems such as whatever is worrying this very worried-looking young adult human who just walked into the bar and is now peering around nervously? Newcomers to the bar are often confused and nervous but she seems even more confused and nervous than usual.

[ertia]

"Hi! Welcome to Milliways. Usually it's just really excellent food and beverages but today there is an omnipotent sorceress on hand, do you need such a thing?"

[cheerfulish]

"...That might depend on what a sorceress is!" says the worried young adult human. "Hello. I am not sure where I am or how I got here. It is concerning."

[ertia]

"You opened a door that this door was displacing," says Kithabel, pointing at the door. "If you go out again, same time and place you left. Most people only get them at random. A sorceress is a person who does magic by wanting things to happen."

[cheerfulish]

"That sounds moderately promising," says the worried young adult human. "Can you rebalance the climate and eliminate the ravening fiends? Can you create large amounts of food and alchemical essence? Any of those things could help."