barring emergencies

[the_very_best]

Bella's not sure where she has wandered. She thought she was about to walk into a shop, but this appears to be an unattended bar. With none of the windows associated with the shop she thought she was entering. It could be an elaborate psychic assault of some kind, but it doesn't feel very... assault-y... and she was in the middle of a town and doesn't think any humans want to sic their 'mon on her. It's strange. She approaches the bar, looking around warily, hand hovering near her belt.

with Max (Benedict)

with Earth and Lightning (kappa)

with Ann and Sabrina (kuuskytkolme)

Comments

[unblinkered]

"What do you mean you don't have all the information I want?! What, you're a talking bar with amnesia? You don't remember how any of this happened?"

He looks at the other napkin, and growls "...things other than beverages, well that explains everything..." under his breath.

[the_very_best]

"The bar is being very nice to us," the girl points out. "Why are you snapping at it?"

Her, please.

"At her," corrects the girl. "Things other than beverages like what?"

Virtually any medium-sized nonmagical object, although I do have to charge your tab appropriately.

[unblinkered]

"Why am I- the bar is being very nice to us?! The magic, talking, extradimensional saloon is being nice, so I shouldn't be upset?!"

He snatches the new napkin from the counter.

"Our TAB?! Any- nonmagical?! As opposed to- as opposed to...!!!"

Max would like to get properly riled up about the magic thing, but for some reason he's stuck on the possibility that he might be charged for being here.

[the_very_best]

The first drink is free, says the bar in small handwriting. And Milliways doesn't have a cover charge.

"She's being nice so you shouldn't be mean," corrects the girl. "So I could get my Pokéballs and Potions here?" she asks the bar.

Yes, although I cannot guarantee that I can offer them at a competitive price depending on whether your usual establishment is having a sale or offers other discounts.

[unblinkered]

"Wh- okay, we're back to this. The Pokémon thing. I'm led to believe that's not a real thing. I was also led to believe magic bars weren't a real thing, though, so if you don't mind clearing that up..."

[the_very_best]

"What, really? You weren't just randomly being a jerk, you actually don't know what Pokémon are?" says the girl. She pulls one of the Pokéballs off her belt, expands it to full apple size, and bounces it on the floor. It opens, there is a flash of red light, it closes and bounces back to her hand, and where it struck is a creature.

[unblinkered]

He freezes. There is a huge animal with huge claws standing in front of him. It is staring directly at him. That's... he's seen that before, Isaac wouldn't shut up about Sapphire version, that's a...

"Th-that's a goddamn Zigzagoon! How did you- where did you...?"

[the_very_best]

The girl puts the creature's Pokéball on her belt again, then picks the animal up and puts it on her lap. It curls up there happily and nuzzles her under the chin. "He used to be a Zigzagoon but now he's evolved," she says. "I thought you didn't think Pokémon were real, how did you even get that close?"

[unblinkered]

"It's a video game! That's from a video game! That's not a real thing! What are you- where are- how is this connected to the bar thing? Is this a thing from Pokemon?"

There's got to be a connection, somehow. He should have paid more attention to his kid's yammering about it... no, no, he shouldn't have, that wouldn't have been a reasonable decision given what he knew at the time. Still...

[the_very_best]

"Zag isn't from a video game, what are you talking about?" she asks, snuggling her critter.

"Oooone," agrees the critter.

"And I already told you why I don't think a Pokémon made the bar!"

[unblinkered]

"Pokemon is... its a video game, my kid used to play it, it was... you caught monsters and they fought each other, or something, trying to get batches of something. Supposedly completely fiction! Not a physically possible thing! This... has that in common with that thing. The bar thing, also impossible. There probably aren't multiple kinds of impossible coincidentally happening at the same time. So... connection! What is it?!"

[the_very_best]

"Uh..." She is now looking at Max like he is the crazy person here, but she turns to Bar. "Help us out?" she asks.

The door can lead to arbitrary different worlds, including those from which the two of you came.

[unblinkered]

Max's jaw lowers upon reading the napkin. He slams his hands on the counter and- and, there's nobody to make dramatic eye contact with on the other side, is there. Um. He stares dramatically at the, uh, napkin.

"You do NOT lie to me! Do NOT tell me lies right now!"

Different worlds, that's... even in the face of the windows, and the napkins, and the thing that isn't a Zigzagoon, this... isn't right. Not if different worlds can mean things like... like that. Something else has to be going on here.

[the_very_best]

It's the absolute truth, the bar writes as indignantly as it is possible to write.

The girl collects previous napkins into a stack and reads through them, then pulls out a notebook and starts transcribing them.

[unblinkered]

He holds the napkin up in front of his face. "It is NOT the absolute truth! That's... how do you explain- the- you can't have been- you never answered the thing about where you came from! Who are you?! Why do you think this is possible?!"

He's this close to demanding to see the manager. He has not, so far, considered the question of whether the staff have a policy on ejecting rowdy guests.

[the_very_best]

My memory is very good, but does not stretch back as far as it would have to for me to recall my origins, says a napkin. And the landlords don't tell me anything.

"Can my 'mon get free first drinks too?" wonders the girl, still transcribing napkins.

I don't see why not.

"Okay, can I get a aspear smoothie for me and qualot juice for Zag?"

A cup for her and a bowl for her Pokémon appear. The Linoone starts slurping up his juice happily.

[unblinkered]

"Guh- this! This is useless! You- either you're lying to my face and I don't have the first clue what I could do to convince you to not do that, or you're being manipulated by someone who doesn't think you'd do your job better if you were better-informed! What am I supposed to..."

He drops his hands and takes a seat at the bar.

"...I'll have a coffee. Lot of cream and sugar. Please."

[the_very_best]

Here is a lovely coffee with lots of cream and sugar.

I think I do my job very well, remarks a prim napkin.

[unblinkered]

"Your boss- or bosses- who you've never met- think it's a good idea for their clientele to show up here completely unexpectedly and against their will, with absolutely no way to find out how or why they got there? I-"

He sips the coffee. It's good.

"I'm sure you're great at, whatever this is, the serving drinks- but clearly whatever whoever made you was optimizing for... was something they didn't think you would optimize for if you knew about it."

[the_very_best]

You are not a prisoner, says the bar. You may leave if you would prefer not to be here. By far the majority of patrons are less upset than you are.

The girl's transcription is starting to catch up to the current napkin. "How often does the door thing happen? I've never heard of it."

Some people get doors routinely, some even more or less on demand. Others get them only rarely or once, and many people never find Milliways within their lifetimes.

[unblinkered]

"So the door discriminates. It has preferences about who it should bring in and who it should ignore, and- I'd put money on its selection algorithm taking that "less upset than me" into account. This is not something most people would be totally okay with, if I know anything about most people."

He sips his coffee again. It's suspiciously good coffee.

"...so it wants something from people. Wants them to be comfortable but not knowledgeable, wants them to accept their situation and do something with incomplete information. It puts in a polite talking bar, to give you anything you want as long as it's not too powerful or dangerous."

Manipulation. There's manipulation happening here. But to what end?

[the_very_best]

"Well, how non-dangerous?" wonders Bella. "Assuming I had a lot of money - hey, can you sell 'mon?"

I don't sell living things, except insofar as things like yeast count, says Bar. And I have some discretion in avoiding selling, for instance, weapons, to people likely to misuse them. The door tends to avoid people who will cause large quantities of trouble while they're here, but not necessarily people who could if they chose, as yourself.

[unblinkered]

Max chuckles darkly. "'Weapons, to people likely to misuse them.' Called that one. Would've tested it, asked for a gun. They don't want anyone making trouble, for whatever it is they're up to. It's a restaurant, I'm a guest, wouldn't want to make a scene..."

Something should be happening, right now or soon. To take advantage of reciprocity, of course. Something the bar's going to ask him to do...

But there's the door. He could leave whenever he wanted. What is this place playing at?

[the_very_best]

"But like she said, the bar doesn't keep out people who could make trouble. I have a beltful of 'mon, and you don't have any, if I wanted to mug you or something I could."

Well, Security would intervene, but not necessarily instantly, clarifies the bar.

[unblinkered]

As soon as the girl is done transcribing the napkin, he picks it up and reads it. It falls from his hands to the floor.

"What's Security?"