delta v over delta t when there is no t

[ertia]

In a bar, there is a girl.

She looks like she has saved up all of her decadent and slothful impulses for a solid decade and is indulging them all at once. She is sprawled on a couch with a book she's only half-reading, and an ice cream sundae, and smiiiiiiling.

Comments

[first_and_final]

"Some otherworldly version thereof, I assume, it'd look different if you were the kind from home."

[taste_tester]

"I'll take your word for it. My kind look like our original selves plus sparkly complexions and red eyes."

[first_and_final]

"Odd, but not the oddest thing I've heard of around here."

[ertia]

"I'm missing some context on what vampires are?"

[taste_tester]

"In addition to the aforementioned we drink blood, we have rather unfair arsenals of superpowers, and some of us get magic on top of that."

[first_and_final]

"Ooh, unfair arsenals of superpowers," says Milan.

[taste_tester]

"Super speed - cognitive too - and eidetic memory and massively overkill physical strength and we can turn on a dime, all part of this complete breakfast."

[first_and_final]

"How charming. Are there any horrific disadvantages? Or even merely inconvenient ones? Also, what's the deal with the magic exactly?"

[taste_tester]

"Unquenchable thirst, we can't sleep -" She looks at their faces. "Or that's an advantage?"

[ertia]

"That's an advantage."

[first_and_final]

"An enormous advantage. Tell us more about this unquenchable thirst. How unquenchable is it?"

[taste_tester]

"Well, you get a few moments while drinking blood but it's basically there all the time. It's not half as bad as actually turning, though, that's nasty stuff."

[first_and_final]

"Define nasty."

[taste_tester]

"Three days, incomprehensible agony?"

[first_and_final]

Milan bursts into helpless giggles.

[ertia]

"Well, that's all well and good for him, but I wonder if I can just skip it with magic."

[taste_tester]

"I'd be fascinated!"

[first_and_final]

"Three days of incomprehensible agony!" cackles Milan.

[taste_tester]

"Masochism or exotic otherworldly thing?"

[ertia]

"Exotic otherworldly thing."

[first_and_final]

"So, I'm enthusiastic about this. Kithabel, are you enthusiastic about this?"

[ertia]

"I'm not enthusiastic about the three days of incomprehensible agony, but, you know, can probably magic it away, and the rest of it's appealing. But in case there is some kind of unprecedented interaction with our momentum maybe we should not do it at the same time, you can go first since you're so thrilled with the prospect and it'll take you less time to rebuild from scratch if you have to, and I should spend like, four seconds, of your incomprehensible agony willing it away to make sure that's a thing that can be done, same with the thirst deal."

[first_and_final]

"Suits me."

[ertia]

"Is there anything else we'd want to know? For instance, why are you offering?"

[taste_tester]

"I'm a magic nerd. If I keep you around for three days - or call it six, I suppose - then I have all that time to interrogate you about what you've got back home, and then there's always the possibility you'll turn up with something new and exciting after. Dunno if it'll work on people from other worlds but back home sometimes people have magic, and it sometimes gets better after they turn, and sometimes they don't but they do afterwards. Idiosyncratic per-person powers. Called witchcraft."